AVENGERS ONESHOTS (requests are closed)

A Wattpad Story ~ Wade Wilson

Request- Have Deadpool with the Avengers and have him realize that he's in a Wattpad Story

liz_owl

Warnings- language (I mean, c'mon it's a Deadpool Oneshot)

Words- 2770

~~~~~~

Wade woke up to a weird feeling, and no, it wasn't a boner this time. There wasn't an audience like there usually was. It was like he as being watched, read, analyzed. Wade looks around suspiciously but shrugs when he doesn't see anyone or anything. But, he is still confused about why he can't see the people, and the camera and the red seats people sit in to watch his movie.

He groans and screams when someone knocks at his apartment door. Great, now he has to get out of bed at this extreme hour of the morning (It was one o'clock in the afternoon). He opens the door and squints at the people clad in black leather. "So, are you guys the hookers I called for because I request red corsets, " he says and Agent Maria Hill furrows her brows.

"We are not sex workers. I am Agent Maria Hill and this is Director Fury. We are here to recruit you on a mission to work with the Avengers, " she says and tries to keep eye contact because Wade didn't bother to put on any clothes from his naked slumber. "Work with the Avengers? Me?" he asks like an excited child, "Oh this is great! When do I start?" he asks and Fury speaks up, "You can start by suiting up, " he says, "You'll have a car waiting for you at this address, " Fury says and hands him a small piece of paper, "The driver will take you to an airport, you'll have a private jet waiting for you to fly you to New York and then you'll have another driver that'll take you to the Avengers Headquarters and we'll meet you there."

The two S.H.I.E.L.D workers leave without another word, leaving Deadpool naked and giddy. He pulls out his phone and calls his good friend, Weasel. "WEASEL! YOU SEXY MAN, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" he screams into the microphone. "What happened?" Weasel asks as pressed the phone between his ear and shoulder while he played an arcade game against a nine-year-old boy. 

Weasel won after a few more seconds of Wade's screaming like a One Direction Fangirl that just stepped where Harry Styles walked. "Oh fuck yeah, pay up kid, " Weasel says to the boy and he sadly gives him his handful of tickets. "I was just asked to go on a mission with the Avengers!" Wade squeals and Weasel laughs and cheers for him. "Oh shit! For real? That is fucking awesome!" he says as he folds up the tickets neatly in his hands. 

"I know! Okay, I have to go. I love you, bye, " Wade says and hangs up the phone. Deadpool goes to his bathroom and brushes his teeth, then goes to put on his suit. He grabs his thick, fur coat and does as Fury instructed him. He walks out to the car waiting for him at the address given and they drive to the nearest airport, the Vancouver International Airport. He boards the private plane and giggles in he sits in the rich, leather seats that recline back.

 The stewardesses look at Wade like it was the first time they have ever seen someone like him. Which, to be frank, it was probably the first time they have ever seen something like Wade. I mean, how often do you see someone in a tactical red and black suit, full-face mask, with guns and swords strapped to him, with a brown and white fur coat, yet he's swinging his feet and drawing on napkins like he's a three-year-old boy, drinking a juice box? Not often, huh?

"Um, can I have another juice box?" Wade asks as he raises his hand. The stewardess brings over his juice box and pokes in the straw and places it on the napkin with a smile, "Anything else, Mr. Wilson?" she asks, her white teeth poking out from behind the bright, red lipstick. "Fruit snacks?" he asks and she nods and brings over a handful of unopened fruit snack bags. He smiles and tears open the little bag, "Oh fuck yeah! There are the purple ones!" he cheers and chews on the gummy.