𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

Balancing Self-worth and Selflessness ~ Nicole

Before we get started, I want to remind you of two things:
    1. It's good to be selfless and want to take care of others! There is nothing wrong with that.
    2. Your needs are worthy of being met.
- However, I am writing this for everyone like me, everyone who goes TOO FAR in helping people and meeting other people's needs.
- Recently I noticed that I felt such a strong urge to please and serve and take care of other people that not only was I not taking care of myself and my own mental health, but I was feeling like my own needs weren't worthy of being met or that I was selfish for trying to meet them.
- Here's the difference between humility and self-hatred: humility is not thinking less of yourself. It's thinking of yourself less.
- However, there's also a difference between self-care and selfishness: selfishness is putting your wants before others' needs. Self-care is putting your needs before other people's wants.
- How to balance these things:
- Identify your needs! Make a list of things that you absolutely CANNOT go without, and that you need to have in order to be healthy enough to help others.
- Examples:
    1. Getting enough sleep
    2. Drinking enough water
    3. Journaling/meditating your feelings
    4. The responsibilities you've made a commitment to—maybe an after-school club, or a ministry at your church, or a volunteering opportunity.
    5. Eating healthy.
    6. Finishing your schoolwork/studies.
    7. Working/making money
    8. Spending time with family.
    9. Spiritual self-care.
    10. Down time or relaxation.
- Now identify your wants! These are things that would be nice to have but are not absolutely necessary. Some examples:
    1. Buying new shoes when you have many pairs at home.
    2. Going to see a movie with friends when you've hung out with them already that week.
    3. Getting McDonald's when you have food at home.
- So, now that you know what you need vs what you want, you're able to turn people down when they interfere with what you need. You're able to give up your wants for their needs but not your needs for theirs.
- I hope this helps!