𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

What friendship is ~ Bee

I was one of those smart Asian kids that everyone thought was perfect. I was painfully shy and quiet and would just draw at the back of form time when everyone was talking and socialising. Come secondary school, I had started to branch out a little bit more and made friends. 

I thought she was great. She was the first friend I made at that school. We hit off right away. We had loads in common, from being Harry Potter fans to using the same shampoo. Then I noticed a change in her.

She started to whack me with her metal bottle or find other ways to hit me, even as a "joke". I told her to stop, but she always deny it or tell me she was joking around. And she would constantly  verbally put me down, like after I had been praised by some teacher for some good piece of work. I didn't appreciate it and when she wouldn't stop and I lost my trust in her, I decided to give it a break and drifted away with my other friends. 

Everyone started to treat me differently after teachers praised me. They would move my stuff, break them, deface my books and clothes and pour water on my books and things. Even my best friend of the time started acting differently. 

Things had been rocky with my second best friend for a while and I had suspected she wasn't the most genuine person. She would always rant about her problems so I would give her advice and be angry on her behalf, but she didn't care when I needed a friend to listen, like when I was going through the bullying thing. We would always talk about her homework and about me helping her do her homework and how I hadn't sent her the homework yet and "Bee, please can I copy your French homework" came every Monday. 

Then we had a group music assessment and she wanted to be in a group with me, since I can play piano and violin and she figured it'll be an easy mark for her. I told her I couldn't. She pestered me and pestered me but I stood my ground and eventually, she got the message.

Then I got 100% on my Maths test and she sent me hate mail. Pages and pages and pages. Pages and pages of her cussing at me and how I made a big deal out of everything, like the bullying thing and how I supposedly wrongly accused the bullies and stuff. And how I boasted about my marks, when I always hide them because I know how everyone reacts, but everyone found out anyways because my teacher decided to put everyone's marks on the board. (sigh) Things like that. It's ironic because they've target her too from time to time and she even wanted us to take revenge. I said no. 

I reported her to my head of year, she sent me more and then I moved forms. She still continues to come to my new form room to pester me and threaten to punch my sister.

I didn't understand how friendship could be so important because everyone I met just seemed to be interested in me helping them with her homework, which I didn't mind doing, but it would've been nice if they didn't only stick around for that. Now I understand that friends that use you for something aren't your friends. 

Actually, I found my bestest and truest friends were ones I didn't have much in common with. We didn't know each other that well, but they were the only ones who stood by me through the rough times. They gave me hugs, heard me out and gave me advice and I'm so so thankful for them. They taught me that friendship is built with time and trust. You don't necessarily have to be super close right away and you don't necessarily have to have loads in common with them. 

I also met an awesome hooman being online who has always, always stood by me. She's listened to my rants, my heartbreak, given me advice, helped give me evidence and she's always given me love. I'm sure she knows who she is (yes, the one who stans Jimin, the one I wrote fluff and stuff for, the one who loves using the peace sign in photos, yes you, Nessa). And I'm so grateful. 

After years of dealing with people who were more interested in copying my homework and skiving off my skills for a good mark, I realised a true friend is someone who accepts you for you. They'll stand by you and your crazy hobbies, they'll give you love and support when you need it. They're interested into getting to know you, not use you for your marks.