𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

~Bipolar Disorder ~Gigi

Hey guys! It's Gigi here! You read the title, you know what I'm taking about today.

A lot of people think of bipolar disorder as just being mood swings but it is so much worse than that. Today I'm going to tell you what bipolar disorder is, the difference between the three types, and I'll talk about my side of the story.

Let's start off with the easy stuff. Bipolar disorder is a mental disorder caused by chemical imbalances in a persons brain. Reasons for these imbalances can vary, and scientists are still trying to figure out how to isolate causes.

Bipolar disorder is often mistaken for depression and ADHD. Bipolar disorder has episodes yay can last anywhere from days to years. These episodes have four different categories.

Manic/Mania, symptoms include, attention problems, inability to stay still, insomnia, very quick mood swings, reckless behaviour, and being overly attached to objects or people.

Depressive. Symptoms: oversleeping, insomnia, over/under-eating, suicidal thoughts, hearing voices, self harm, lack of motivation, ignoring owns health, lack of interest, cuts off from social outlets, often sick, and frequent headaches.

Hypo-manic/Hypomania. Much like manic/mania, but does not interfere with work ethic/attention span. Symptoms: Elated, overly happy, energetic, risky behaviour, reckless money spending, frequent headaches, hearing voices, picks up random hobbies and quickly drops them, and inability to sleep.

Alternative episodes. Alternative episodes are a mix of all three aforementioned types. Rapid mood swings going from highly elated and eccentric to suicidal and depressed are common, as well as acting strangely and confused.

These episodes can be different depending on what type of bipolar disorder the person has. There are three main types, Bipolar Disorder 1, Bipolar Disorder 2, and cyclothymia.

Bipolar I Disorder- defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care. Usually, depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features (having depression and manic symptoms at the same time) are also possible.

Bipolar II Disorder- defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes described above.

Cyclothymic Disorder (also called cyclothymia)- defined by numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms as well numerous periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least 2 years (1 year in children and adolescents). However, the symptoms do not meet the diagnostic requirements for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.
(Research found on the National Institute for Mental Health website)

I have bipolar disorder II, meaning that I have depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes. My shortest depressive episode lasted about 2 weeks, and my longest one was about 2 and a half years long. My hypomanic episodes last around a month usually. I usually have alternative episodes whenever I'm not having depressive or manic episodes.

I go through what's called rapid cycling, which is more common in people who bipolar disorder from ages 15-35. Rapid cycling is exactly what it sounds like, episodes going much faster than what is normal, usually only lasting a few days to a few weeks.

A lot of people say that bipolar is like an easier version of depression because it comes in waves. I can understand why they would see it that way, but it's not true. There's never really a break. It's either constant mood swings, anger, pain, and constant distraction, or its suicidal thoughts. There's no escape. Yes, there's waves, but each wave is a tsunami crashing over us and holding us underneath as more waves crash over, drowning us in our own thoughts. I can't even tell what part of my mind is me and what part of it is the people I've made up.

It's not easy. It'll never be easy, but, it's not all bad. Most people with bipolar disorder tend to see the world in a different view, making them very good artists and problem solvers. They are often very smart and exceed in academics. It doesn't get easier, and each episode gets gradually worse, but we get stronger.

People with bipolar disorder are no different from everybody else. We cry, laugh, scream. We blend in, and most of us don't cause much of a disturbance.

Just because we appear calm does not mean we are. When I was eight years old, I fell into my first depressive episode. I didn't know it then. I had no idea that the innocent thoughts in my head, telling me that the poison will taste good, were evil. I made friends with the people in my head that were constantly verbally abusing me. I started to believe them. I attempted suicide four times. Twice with pills, once with razor blades, and once with a knife.

I'm happy that they didn't work. If they did, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have found my passion. I wouldn't be attending a culinary arts camp and following my dreams. I wouldn't be writing. And most importantly, I wouldn't have my family and friends.

I am currently going through a depressive episode, and as much as I want to puncture a blade though my heart, I won't. I've made many promises. Promises that I mean to keep.

I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my sisters, brothers, parents, and my friends. I don't think I could have the strength to face the day if I didn't know that I had them to fall back on, because when I fall, I fall hard. Each pothole is a cliff, each ant hill is a mountain, but they are my safety gear.

All of you, battling depression or bipolar disorder or any mental health problems, find someone who makes you happy. Talk to them about anything, you don't even have to talk about your illness. Talk about your favourite things to do. Have a conversation. It will help. People can be the cause of the problem, but they can also be a part of the solution.

Another thing is you. You won't get better unless you want to. You have to believe that you can get better, because you can. I've been there, I know it feels like you'll never get out, but trust me, you can.

And again, if you ever need someone to talk to, the people on this account can be a friend. I'm not on the account often, but feel free to contact me on my main account @youngestofthebunch , I'm on there all the time, and I have no problem with having a conversation. In fact, I like talking. I'm kind of a blabbermouth, but I always listen.

Alright, that's all for this week. See ya later my Lovelies.

Song of the day: The Sun Is Rising - Britt Nicole

Quote of the day: Stars can't shine without darkness.

💕💕💕