𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

Forgiveness ~ Nicole

Hi everyone! Today I wanted to talk about a topic that, even though people may discuss it a lot, I don't think people talk about in the right way. Forgiveness.

First of all, what is forgiveness not?

1. It's not forgetting. Forgiving someone who has hurt you, harmed you, or been toxic to you is not the same as forgetting everything they did to you and having no boundaries at all.

2. Forgiveness is not about being a doormat. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you have to let them back into your life, give them the opportunity to hurt you again, or be friends with them. 

What is forgiveness, then?

Forgiveness is about letting go of your anger and resentment. It doesn't require the other person to make a grand gesture. It's not about getting even with the other person or forcing them to apologize to you. Forgiveness is not about them. It's about you.

When you don't forgive someone, it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Even though it may feel good for a moment to keep thinking about crazy plots of revenge on the other person or how to ruin their life, that will not turn out well for either of you. When you don't forgive someone, you are choosing to let them have power over you. You are choosing to think about them, how they hurt you, and how you can make them feel the same way. Instead of letting go and moving on, you are staying stuck in the past. 

When you choose not to forgive someone, you are choosing to demand something from them, which they may not be able to give you. Maybe this person doesn't even have the emotional capacity to apologize to you. Forgiveness is not about trying to restore your relationship to some perfect state. If there was a terrible falling out, that may not be possible. It's about healing for YOURSELF. 

When you forgive someone, you choose to say, "I'm not doing this for you, to benefit you, but for myself and so that I can move on with my life and not give you any power over me."

You're saying, "No matter what you have done against me, I can come out of it stronger than ever and still capable of loving and being kind to others."

The opposite of forgiveness is being bitter and angry all the time. It doesn't just ruin your present, but your future. It makes it harder for you to trust other people when you haven't moved on from those who have broken your trust.

Forgiving someone may feel scary. It may feel like you're letting go of something or someone that you have hung onto for so long. But it's necessary, and so, so worth it. 

I hope this post helps you! 

Love,

Nicole