𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

I just want to heal.

Life hasn't always been a bed of roses for me, nor is it at this point in my life. I remember when I was 12 years old and my aunt passed away from cancer. That cut me so deep. And today I still feel the pain, but I think what hurts the most from grief.. is not knowing how to have a normal life after that loved one passes away. I was bitter, so very bitter. I cut off so many people just because I was hurting and it made more sense to do that than to try and explain what I felt. Have you ever just wanted to scream at God "heal me!" If you haven't.. good for you! 

But today I wanna talk to those people, that don't want to talk to me. You don't want a counselor, a therapist, a friend, you just want to get better and move on. But I know.. neither is happening. 2017 was a rough year for me babes. I lost my grandfather, niece, and uncle all within 6 months apart. Fast forward to 2018.. I went through the toughest breakup & lost my best friend because of a silly boy. But you know what all that damaging stuff got me every time? It gave me GROWTH. I grew into a brand new person every time people told me I wasn't enough, or said that no one would ever love me because i'm "too difficult" 

You, honey, just you.. You were always enough. And you were made enough because that's who you are babe! The thing about people in general is yes, they say really hurtful things.. But lemme tell ya,  people that are insecure themselves find it necessary to make others insecure. Is it right? nope not at all. Do we still love on these people? YOU BET!! 

I remember being 14 and wishing every single minute to be 17.. Apparently in my freshman year I thought that if I could just get to senior year I'd have my whole life figured out & there would be no constant worry, responsibilities, or anything of that sort.
Being 17 now, I can honestly say that I was so so wrong in my perspective of how life would be. Life can be just as messy as it was then. Something I've learned in the past couple years is to not let our circumstances or past hurts affect what kind of person we are today... Losing my niece, my uncle passing away shortly before that and then my grandfather.. it wasn't easy. And there were times that I doubted God's faithfulness in my own life. I can't wish away the hurt that I still feel from losing aubree and other family, but I can learn from it. If you don't listen to anything I say today.. Remember that you will heal. No matter how it feels right now, no matter how badly you want to throw your hands up and give up.. Darling, you're doing an amazing job! I for one am rooting for you <3 

Say to yourself today 

~ I will ~

~Heal

~Be loving despite others

~Move on