𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

Toxic Positivity |H̶a̶p̶p̶y̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶i̶e̶s̶t̶

Audrey Hepburn once said,

Happy girls are the prettiest.

That phrase has always rubbed me the wrong way for quite a few reasons.

While I understand that Audrey is trying to encourage women to be positive and happy, I think the way she phrased it can be very damaging to young women.

Because first of all inner beauty, and outer beauty have nothing to do with whether or not you are happy.

I'll give you a harsh example,

A homeless child in a third world country is not ugly, or not as pretty because they aren't happy with their situation.

A girl with depression is not less beautiful because of how she feels inside.

And even if the word happy were removed from the phrase and replaced with the word kind, strong, smart, or any "positive"word it still doesn't seem right to me.

Because phrasing anything with "This is what is prettiest" elevates some girls while putting others down.

It is putting girls in competition with one another and comparing us to each other.

Sorry, Audrey I usually love quotes by you, but this one is pretty toxic.

Albeit, she was living in the time period where women were expected to be perfect little angels, putting on a smile no matter what happened, and just letting things be regardless of how they actually felt inside, like expressed in the video above.

I absolutely adore the message of the video, and am so grateful Cimorelli uses their influence to address problems that girls battle with.

After all, back when the Strong Girls club was called the Sad Girls club, it was inspired by their album "Sad Girls Club" and the message of it.

The message telling us its okay to not be okay.

I find it upsetting that we always talk about toxic negativity in the world, and in the mental health community, but alot of people don't realize is that toxic positivity is just as bad.

Toxic positivity?

What is that?

Here is a little excerpt on toxic positivity from the Mighty.com to give you a little background on what toxic positivity is,

"There's no denying that positivity can be powerful. I know when I'm struggling with and negative thoughts, if I can hold onto an ounce of hope — that I'll make it through, that I'm not defined by my thoughts, that I'm not as bad as my brain is making me out to be — I can cope a little better. "

" The positivity we hold within ourselves, when we can manage it, makes it a little easier to get by.*

"That being said, perhaps counter intuitively, positivity isn't always the best way to help others. You can't make someone be positive. You can't sprinkle positivity dust on them and make their problems go away."

"And honestly, when people are seeking help and support, they're usually not looking for straight-up, inspirational poster positivity. More often, they're looking for validation that their negative feelings are OK."

Amen to that.

Toxic positivity or forced positivity is all over the place.

And when people say stuff like,

"Happiness is a choice." "Just think positive." NO bad vibes ." "Good thoughts only."

it is creating an atmosphere where no negativity is allowed.