𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

Healing from a broken heart ~ Breakup tips ~ Alex

Hey everyone! It's Alex here.. Long time no post right?? I just want to say a HUGE apology to everyone for not being really active in SGC. I've been sucky at that lately and I know it, but honestly? These last few months have been W A C K. Lemme give some back story.
Last year, on this exact day I started dating a dude whom we will call Austin, and at the beginning of our relationship it seemed like he really cared and that I was the only girl in his world. Awww sweeet, right?? Wrong. Fast forward a 24 days later.. I found out that this SCUM bag cheated on me with his ex. I honest to goodness thought that I would never in a million years get over the hurt I experienced in 2018. It made me SICK to think about him, but at the same time I missed his sorry butt at times. Have you ever been there?? like you know this guy is super toxic for you.. But he's just so sweet and kind and all that. We dumb girls sometimes, hate to tell ya that honey boo. So anyways, after breaking up with Austin I swore off dating. Literally. I said to myself that the guy would have to be legit PERFECT before I even considered dating again. Because - In the months that followed of forgetting Austin, I became OBSESSED with self love. I was not going to allow another human being to take that away from me again.
Well well well, you know when you make a promise to yourself that you know deep down you're gonna break?? I consider myself a idiot sometimes. Fast forward to October 2018, 8 months after me and scum bag split.. I started working with this realllllly cute guy.. I mean guys, he was IT. But I told myself "no. no. no. You are not going to catch feelings. You are a strong independent woman that don't need no man." It worked, for about a month.. And then I knew I was screwed. I really liked this dude! We started hanging out after work, really getting to know each other.. and I was certain he would never in a million years like me.. But guess what??? He told me one day "You know, I really like you.. You have such a beautiful heart, you're gorgeous." blah blah blah. I fell hopelessly in love with this dude after 3 months of really getting to know him, and he was such sweet guy. He bought me coffee, he gave me new books, he let me vent about everything to him, he was so raw and open and honest with me about EVERYTHING.

Buuuuuuut

here comes the absolute WACK part. This dude, whom we will call Drew, ended things between us almost 2 weeks ago. Drew had already asked me to be his girlfriend and all of that.. And then he just left? what? So as you can imagine, as every breakup does, IT SUCKS. I mean it really does. 4 months of complete happiness with the person you thought you would marry? and then they're just like "you know what, this isn't working out." A message to all you jerkface boys out there - GROW THE FRICK UP. Honestly. But today, I wanna talk to the girls (or guys) who have had their hearts literally ripped out and stomped on. Let's help each other, okay??

Tip #1

Quit banging your head about "where did I go wrong" that's CRAP. Maybe you did mess up in areas of the relationship, but realize this - if you tried your best to understand the person and be there for them.. You didn't screw this up.. THEY DID!

Tip #2 

If I think about my ex continually before I go to sleep I always have dreams about them and those are the literal worst because it confuses your mind. Thinking that things are back to the way they used to be. So my advice is to you is PUSH them out of your mind as much as possible at night.

Tip #3

Get a new habit. 

In the first few days of a breakup, you're probably going to feel a little numb and feel like this is not your reality. Especially if you talked to that person every minute of everyday. It's going to suck, so you need something that keeps you busy. I run a lot when I'm either angry, broken, or just sad. And usually breakups cause ALL of those emotions.

Tip #4

DO NOT LISTEN TO SAD MUSIC EVERYDAY 

I'm going to admit, the first week of this I bumped a lot of sad music because I just didn't feel like listening to happy stuff when I felt so broken inside. But hear me, listening to music like "What hurts the most." by rascall flatts is just going to slow the healing process WAYYYY down.
So I've got a question.. Who else has bumped "Thank u, next." by Ariana Grande after a really hard breakup?? That was my go to for awhile lol. Also 99 problems is a good one. Music affects our thoughts so you do not want to listen to something that will make you sad over your ex every single day.

Tip #5 

Take this time to become more independent than you've ever been.

When you're in a relationship you're so focused on his/or her needs that its literally so easy to forget about your own. I sacrificed a lot for my ex, canceled plans with my friends just to be able to hang with him when he finally decided to free up his time for me. And it's a real jerk thing that guys like us to make time for them but when we need them to do the same?? "oh sorry babe, the boys already had this planned." So my advice to you is to start doing stuff for YOU. Go to the coffee shop and write in a new journal, go on a walk, go out with friends that you haven't seen in awhile. JUST DO YOU.

Tip #6 

Remember that no matter how the relationship ended.. YOU ARE ENOUGH

If a boy thinks you are too much, that usually means he just can't handle how great you actually are. I know there's a lot of pain in you right now, and you say to yourself "Why didn't he choose me." But here's something to remember - "One man's Im not ready, is another man's I KNEW the second I saw her." You're a GEM baby.. and ALWAYS ALWAYS remember that.

Tip #7

My mom told me something yesterday that for some reason really helped. She said "Ya know, I know that you really miss him even if you try to cover it up. But remember that as much as you miss him.. He misses you twice as much." So even tho you're certain your ex is doing just fine without you.. They will miss you. Your spark. your joy. everything because you were and will always be the best thing they could have had

Tip #8

Quit stalking them on social media & rereading old messages 

You will literally just hurt yourself worse by this. It messes with your head because you miss that person and how it used to be. I have made a promise to myself - I can stalk him ONCE and then I have to be done with it. Because one day I continued to stalk him and it literally made me sick inside to realize that we're done. SO its best to just leave it. Like Kayla said in a post one time "Let it hurt, let it bleed, and then let it go."

I was going to try for 10 tips.. But I want to end this post with this - You will move on, you will heal. Because every heartbreak, every broken piece of you, will one day makes you who you are supposed to be. Just because that person didn't see your worth.. Doesn't mean that someone else wont. 

Please don't hesitate to reach out to SGC if you are going though a breakup or anything.. We will be here if you need a friend <3
love you all
we're in this together babes
~Alex