𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

Beginnings and Purpose ~ Jasmine

Have you ever felt like you have no purpose in life? Have you ever felt like an accident, or a mistake?

Well, sometimes you just need to look to the beginning of your life. We all have a story.

My story begins like this:

My mom was seventeen, the same age as I am now, when I was conceived in her womb. She had recently been married, and they were both preparing to move away from their tiny area in North Carolina to move to Germany.

The odds against my existence were stacked high. My mother had cysts on her uterus, which she had to have removed. Tiny, little ol' me didn't seem to stand much chance against the surgery.

But I survived.

My mom also had a scare with me early on in her pregnancy, and it appeared that she had miscarried me.

But I survived.
God really, really wanted me to grow and thrive. Before I was even conceived He had decided that I would have a purpose. He has dreams for me that are bigger than anything I could possibly imagine for myself.

Fast-forward seventeen years later.

I wondered what my purpose could possibly be. I became depressed and self-hating.

What could I possibly have going for me when I'm stuck at home, I'm bullied and criticized by own family daily, I have no driver's license and no job, and I have very bad social anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, among other mental health issues?

I began to make plans to end my life, once I fulfilled certain obligations that I still have.

But I didn't want to die. I don't want to die. I didn't feel like I had much choice but to do it though, since I held the belief that I was a useless piece of crap that didn't do anything but waste valuable space.

Then, one night, when I felt so broken, God wrapped His arms around me and reminded me that He still has a plan for me.

The moral of the story is, no matter how useless or broken you might feel, you always have a purpose that can only be fulfilled by you. It doesn't matter if you ever find out what that purpose might be, as long as you live your life because living will lead to that purpose.

There's a reason why you've woken up this morning and why you've lived this long.
Good luck. I hope and pray you decide to live.

~ jcdwriter