The Adventures Of A Lost Girl

Just Hold Me

Peter knew you weren't okay, you became distant. Of course you weren't affectionate in the traditional way, you hated hugs and PDA in front of anyone but Peter and you.

But you always let him touch you in some way, he'd put his hand on your shoulder or lower back, you would do the same.

But, you withdrew from him. You started pushing away from his touch and comfort. You wouldn't reach out to touch him anymore.

You became a shell.

He walked into your tent with the intent of talking it out. But he found you crying with your head in your hands.

Your hands were fisted within the locks of your hair, knuckles clenched so tight they turned white. You were sobbing quietly but enough that he heard your hiccups.

"Y/N." He asked, kneeling beside you, "baby...."

He tried to gently pull your elbows to get your hands to release your hair. But you wouldn't let go. "Y/N let go." He urges gently but firmly.

He managed to work your hands away from your hair and clutched them tightly within his hands. "What is it?"
You opened your mouth to talk but kept crying.

"That's it, let it out baby." He said rubbing his thumbs against your skin.
After a few minutes, you whispered three words, "just hold me." You then crawled on the ground into his lap. You were against his chest as he held your head there.

He kissed your head, "tell me when you're ready my love, I'm here."

And so he held you as you cried, and listened so intently to your heartbeat and sadness that it became in sync with his own.

(i don't know wtf that last sentence was but hey it's written)

wow, i have had a shit ton of well, shit go on since i last updated.

i'm going through a lot within my mental health right now, and stuff that i haven't really spoke about ever online but i'm gonna now because i'm fucking sick of keeping my mouth shut.

i don't think i've ever really talked about my family on here? i mean happy things yes i've negatives.

well my father and i have a shitty relationship and he doesn't even respect me or my opinions. it's gotten worse. i'm safe and all and it's not abusive, it's just infuriating to not be taken seriously

he also makes mildly homophobic and transphobic comments as well as says comments about the #metoo movement.

and i'm like great, keep saying that shit in front of your gay daughter who was assaulted and harassed and constantly gets comments because oh yeah, im a girl and there is not one girl i know that has not been harassed for being a woman.

but whatever i'm just a kid what the hell do i know? right?

and my grandma died a couple weeks ago which just adds to it and obviously i miss her and i felt empty for a quite a while after that.

and then when i'm defending myself i'm too "sassy".

i just don't know what to do guys, obviously i'm not gonna do anything to myself or anyone else. but sorry to be needy, i just want hugs y'all.

anyway i love you guys, sorry it sucked i just needed to let stuff out.

Also, if i missed any comments i'm so sorry i took a wattpad break and lost track please don't be upset.

much love 💜💜