The Adventures Of A Lost Girl

why books matter.

so this was originally written with the intent to be on my blog and i decided to put it all here too.

so we're all on this book why? to escape reality. I'm sure that's how many of you found this book. that's why i started writing it, i was lost and so unhappy with who i was.

i'm currently going through a super shit time, and for once in my life i'm completely alone.

i know i have you guys on here. but i would love to have some hugs right now.

i cant even talk about it with my friends cause they're all stressed out and they don't need me ranting about something and distracting them from studying because oh yeah, my last day of high school is tomorrow and i'm absolutely fucking petrified. 

they're all studying and i'm literally sitting in the bathtub typing a note out to my Lost Family saying "hey i'm fucking lost, but books are great"

i honest to god don't know what this note is, so forgive my blubbering.

i have no idea what the holy fuck i'm doing with my life after high school, am i becoming a psychologist? am i going to be a full time writer that self publishes? am i gonna be the actor and voice actor that i've always wanted to be?

who the fuck knows? certainly not me.

also i'm totally not crying right now, like i have been literally all day cause ha, anxiety and depression.

anyway back to books, books are seen as this horrible thing teachers make us read but what nobody really realizes is that books make us feel like we belong. i feel like there's a book out there that interests everyone.

my shelf currently holds 200+ books, and i wouldn't give up any of them. I have so much attachment to them. books are actually the one thing that is totally, wholly mine.

like i feel such a territorial protection over the books i've read because nobody else i knows has. and i feel like i know something great that no one else does and i don't wanna share that. other than with like, other readers. but people who aren't readers don't tend to care about what happens in a book i've read😂

books have been my portal to escape, to escape the absolute shitstorm that is my IRL life.

my internet life is fucking great, i've never been bullied (although my book has been added to some mean lists 😂), i've talked to so many of you guys, met someone who i consider a very close friend and she knows who she is so i ain't gonna call her out. 😂

but anyway, i hope my book has done something good for you. that means more to me than anything in the world. if this...collection has made you happy then i have done my job

love you guys ❤️