Devoted S.M

•Fifty•

Immediately I could feel the nerves eat me up inside as I stared at him, taking in every part of him. He looked so tired and pale. He had big bags under his eyes as he sluggishly stood there with his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

"Heidi, would you mind leaving us two alone for a minute?" Shawn mumbled, his eyes falling to the floor as he refrained from looking at me.

"Sure" Heidi nodded  wuijclt hugging me from the side before excusing herself and leaving the room.

Once she left I looked back at Shawn to see him gradually bringing his eyes to face me.

"I came to apologise" Shawn sighed softly.

Instantly I frowned my eyebrows up at him, perplexed as to why I was the one receiving the apology.

Before I could question Shawn he let out a deep breath and walked over to the bed and sat beside me, turning his body round so he was facing me.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted towards you and for how inconsiderate I was towards how hard all of this was for you" Shawn explained.

Opening my mouth to respond Shawn put one finger to my lips to indicate me to stop.

"Please just let me finish" Shawn said softly.

"After talking to Liam I've had some time to reflect on how I reacted and I just think that how I did react was so unfair on you. I mean I shouted at you and was so horrible with my choice of words, and no matter how angry I was it wasn't okay for me to do that"

I felt my eyes soften and my throat become scratchy as I stared up at his guilt swamped eyes. He sounded so sincere and genuinely sorry for his actions, not that I expected or wanted any kind of apology.

"With that being said I am still angry and hurt at the fact that you did keep the pregnancy from me, and as of right now I don't know how I'm suppose to overcome that" Shawn gently explained, his voice so soothing and different from last night as he slowly removed his finger from my lips.

"I truly am sorry Shawn" I sighed, the insane amount of guilt swarming me up inside as I looked down at my lap.

"I know I've already said that but there's no words to describe how much I regret keeping it from you"

"Why did you keep it from me?" Shawn evidently sounded heart broken as I looked back up at him, the saddest of looks in his eyes.

"It's just-" I sighed, my voice cracking as ached at seeing him ache.

"I didn't want to out anymore stress on you. You already had enough to worry about and you were so stressed about remembering me that I didn't want to add anything on top of that"

Shawn gently nodded, gesturing to me that he was taking the time to listen to every word I had to say.

"Plus, you were already beating yourself up enough about not remembering me that I was scared that'd you'd just lose it at not being able to remember that the two of us were trying for a baby. I mean, look at how you reacted when you found out that you were going to propose to me"

Shawn again nodded as he bit on his bottom lip before looking away for a second.

"It's just all hard to process, you know" Shawn sighed, his voice quiet and fragile.

"Yeah I know" I also sighed.

"You know what is crazy?" Shawn asked, his big brown eyes looming down at me.

"What?" I replied.

"I still haven't thought about the fact that you being pregnant means I'm going to be a father" Shawn sweetly said.

I could feel a small smile tug at my lips as I listened to him say 'I'm going to be a father'.

"And are you okay with that?" I carefully asked.

Shawn gave me a cute and small smile as he let out a deep breath.

"I think so"

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Here's another chapter for you all! I'm now beginning to make plans on how or if Shawn remembers Elle. Once that is decided this book may be drawing to an end!
Please comment and vote!
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