Devoted S.M

•Thirty-four•

"Haha, you are one funny girl Elle-" Shawn said sarcastically before abruptly cutting off his sentence.

"What's your last name?" Shawn asked, furrowing his eyebrows at me.

"Jackson" I replied, it still feeling so weird that Shawn had to ask me all these sorts of questions.

Only this morning he asked me what I study at college, and I don't say studied because in his head he remembers still being in college.

"Well that's one average last name" Shawn joked back, throwing me a small smirk as I scoffed at him.

"Well Shawn isn't so creative either" I reported causing him to laugh.

"Just you wait until I tell my mum that" Shawn teased.

I playfully rolled my eyes at him before standing up and walking towards him.

Standing infront of him I took boths of his hands in each of mine. Shawn travelled his eyes up until they were engaged with mine.

"You sure you don't want my help?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him with a small smile.

"I guess, I could use a little help" Shawn sighed, being laughing lightly.

As he laughed he briefly looked to the floor before settling back on my face.

"Just push yourself up slowly and if you feel like you are going to fall then just grab onto me" I explained as I let go of Shawn's hands and stepped back so he could have enough room to stand up.

"Okay" Shawn nodded before again placing his hands either side of him on the bed.

Letting out a deep breath Shawn finally tried to push himself up, finding all the strength he could. Eventually Shawn just about managed to push himself up.

"There you go, you're standing up!" I proudly cheered as Shawn stood there, his body a little shaky as he tried to hold position.

Shawn's lips were pursed together as he tried to steady his leg muscles so he wouldn't fall.

"Try walking towards me"

Shawn listened and slowly took a step forward.

"Look at you, you're doing it" I beamed causing Shawn to lightly chuckle.

"You sound like my mum" Shawn laughed as he flicked his eyes up at me and then back down to concentrate on his feet.

I playfully rolled my eyes before Shawn then continued to take a few more steps. About to take his 5th step Shawn's legs must have gave way.

"Elle!" Shawn gasped as he began falling forward, throwing his arms out for me.

I quickly grabbed onto him so I was holding him by the shoulders to stop him falling. Shawn's hands went to my waist so he could steady himself.

"Jeez, that was close" I sighed our of relief for managing to catch Shawn.

"Yeah" Shawn surprisingly laughed as as he looked down at me, trying to catch his breath back.

"But hey, I did it" Shawn beamed causing me to helplessly smile up at him.

"Yes you did" I laughed, Shawn's hands still remaining firmly at my waist.

Shawn had such a sweet grin on his face as he looked down at me, obviously proud at himself for managing to walk a few steps.

I couldn't help but look down to his plump lips. I craved them so much but I knew I couldn't do anything about it. I then felt Shawn's hand move around my waist and down to my lower back.

I felt my breath hitch as his hand inched closer down my back. Looking back up to Shawn's eyes they remained focused on my face as he looked deep in thought.

As we held eye contact Shawn parted his lips to speak. He hesitated for a few seconds but before he could say anything he shut them again.

Shawn mumbled something to himself but I couldn't translate what he said. As Shawn took his eyes off me he let his hands fall from my body.

"Can you get a nurse? I need the bathroom" Shawn said quietly, always finding it embarrassing to ask.

"Ofcourse" I said, my throat a little scratchy and dry as Shawn slumped down into a chair next to his bed.

I then turned around and left the room to go find a nurse.

I wasn't quite sure what had just happened but I did know that something went off in Shawn. One minute he was laughing and all smiles and then he just changed into this glum and sad expression.

Shawn
-x-

I wanted to kiss her. I had this inclination and desire to feel Elle's lips against mine. As I held her waist I instinctively moved my hand down her back, edging lower and lower as my body craved for her.

Before I could do anything about my actions I pulled away from her and looked down at the ground.

"Can you get the nurse? I need the bathroom" I said, feeling my dignity being torn away every time I asked.

"Ofcourse" Elle mumbled before leaving the room as I sat down onto the nearest chair.

Once Elle left I out a heavy groan of frustration at myself. Here I am telling Elle that we should takes things slow yet I keep having this need and want to kiss her.

But I couldn't kiss her. It was wrong to. I can't expect her to be patient with me if I can't even be patient with myself. I know there are no feelings there towards Elle but right now I'm just so frustrated that my body is telling me that I do want her.

It's messed up. I need to stop getting her hopes each time I make a move or hold her in a certain way, because for her this is all about feeling loved. But for me it's just been the heat of the moment and the need for instant satisfaction.

I go home in two weeks and hopefully when I do we can work on things in time.

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Do you guys like me including Shawn's POV or would you like me to just write in Elle's POV?
Also sorry about leaving you all hanging about Elle's pregnancy!
Please comment & vote!
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