𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 ☁︎☀

How To Be Single - Nicole

How To Be Single - Nicole

I've had the idea to write this, in my mind since Valentine's Day, when both of my sisters were in relationships and I was single.

Now I've just been asked out, but I think I'll write it anyways because I have a lot of experience being single. (To quote Cimorelli: "I've been single since the ice age.")

Our society is really weird about single women. On one hand, there's people out there singing songs about how great it is to be single, have freedom, not being cuffed, and generally doing what you want to do. At the same time, those same people are also talking about how great it is to be in a relationship, not being 'lonely' (as though friends don't exist) and just in general saying, 'not being single is great'.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with being single. There's nothing wrong with being in a HEALTHY relationship. It's better to be alone than to be in a toxic relationship, where someone is constantly or subtly tearing you down, discouraging you from self-improvement, and ruining your connections with other people.

A relationship =/= your worth.

Anyways, back to the topic: how to be single.

1) Don't try to get a boyfriend.

Now, I know there are people out there who want to get a partner. That's cool! I've been in that mindset for a long time. But what I'm saying is, don't actively go out there and hunt down a guy to date you, unless you know your motivations for dating.

Are you dating because you feel lonely? Because you're bored? Because you want to have fun? 'If you're not dating to get married, you're dating to breakup" is an old adage that is old for a reason. It's true.

2) Don't be like me and constantly fantasize about getting a boyfriend, or think your life would be way better if you had one.

Yes, a guy can make you happy. But he shouldn't be the ONLY thing that makes you happy.

Is it fine to talk to guys and have guys as your friends? Yes. But, should you be making your whole life about getting a guy? No. Because once you get a boyfriend, with that mindset you'll be making HIM the centre of your life and then he'll disappoint you, because he's only human.

As well, you'll be so focussed on getting a boyfriend that you'll literally have no time for anything else. Or, you will be wasting time that could be used productively.

3) WORK ON YOURSELF! I can't emphasize this enough. Whether or not you're trying to get a boyfriend, it's always a good idea to improve yourself.

Work on your appearance! Go to the gym, or keep fit in some other way. Wear clothes that flatter your body.

Take a class! Learn a language. The app Duolingo is a great option if you don't have a lot of time or money but want to learn a language.

Grow spiritually! Attend church and pay attention. Read your Bible. Try to pray more.

OR: even if you're not Christian, anyone can learn meditation and practice mindfulness. There's a lot of great, free apps for that. Meditation has been proven to have emotional, mental and physical benefits so there's that.

Also: journaling. Write out your emotions, your thoughts, whatever you're feeling at the time.

Be confident! Have good posture and be polite. It goes a long way. Don't slouch or awkwardly not make eye contact.

Love yourself. If you don't love yourself, how can someone else love you?

I hope this helped!