We Talked About Tomatoes

We Talked About Tomatoes: 10 - 6 Years, 4 Months and 3 Weeks Later

Then I turn my back on him. I didn't want to look like I was waiting for him. I didn't want to look desperate. I knew I was now, but he didn't need to know, because he had a girlfriend now. Then I smelt that familiar smell of normal washing detergent and a little spray of deodorant. I almost laughed out loud that he still smelt familiar. That, despite things, he was still similar. So was I. How I felt. And it sucked.

"Hey, Steph! Hey, girls. This is Rachel, my girlfriend, so be nice." He sounded familiar too. That jovial tone, that tone where you can just tell he's smiling. His voice was a little rough, as if he needed to cough or drink, or maybe as if he'd been sick.

I realised I was the only one of the girls who had their back to him. I hastily turned around and gave a big, cheesy smile. I was cringing inside because I must've looked like a girl who was on her first day of kindergarten - eager to learn and eager to please. His smile noticeably faltered a little but he kept it strong. His strong arm was around a petite, brunette asian with a big cheesy smile that must've mirrored mine. Her skin was light with golden undertones and her cheeks were high and rounded. She had thin glossy lips and straight, layered hair. Not only that but she looked so stunning I wanted to stab her or splash some wine on her white top.

She waved her hand. "Hi! I'm Rachel! It's all nice to meet you guys!" Her voice was so high; it was like listening to a child that was high on sugar. The girls, including me, murmured a hello back.

Bryce's eyes were on me and I felt like I'd be like Alice and shrink any moment. As if looking at Bryce would be the same as drinking the potion on the table that was labelled 'Drink Me'. "Georgia, it's nice to see you again," he said with a tighter smile, as if he was forcing it. Just like mine. He cleared his throat loud enough I could hear it over the din of the DJ and the chatter around us.

"Yeah. Nice to see you too. Good to see you're doing well," I replied, smiling and nodding at him. We stood there in an awkward silence for a second or two.

"You guys know each other? How? How come I've never seen you before?" Rachel, who I'd forgotten was even there, asked, bursting with excitement and curiousity.

"She's my-"

"I'm Steph's best friend. And we used to go to the same school, so yeah. It's been a LONG time since we've seen each other because I've been living in New York." I gave Rachel a wide smile after glancing at Bryce.

"Uh, I should get going now. The guys are waiting! Have fun, babe," Bryce said giving Rachel a peck on the cheek. "Have fun girls!" He called out as he exited the throbbing club.

Babe? I repeated to myself as Rachel walked past me and talked to the other girls and Steph. Bryce had never called ME babe. I mean, not that I'd necessarily want to be called 'babe' just wondering. I mean, I'm not a 'babe'. I'm Georgia. I have a name. I - think this conversation in my head is totally pointless as I can see Rachel making easy friends with the group and I'm thinking I want to trip her over.

Also, why did I interrupt Bryce? What would he have said? Was he going to say, 'She's my ex'? Or 'She's my old friend'? WHAT? I wanted to kick myself for trying to guess. I think I interrupted because I didn't want to know. If he said ex it would mean that we REALLY are gone. That there's no possibility. EVER. I mean, I know that already but it would be so much more obvious. I mean, looking back, he stormed off in an angry haze and I ran away. Doing that left no time to actually discuss anything, were we over? Or taking a break? Or giving each other the silent treatment? But if he said old friend I think I would've punched him because was that all we were? Because we weren't.

I pulled Steph into the bathroom to rant. I know this was her night. But I was panicking. I wanted to go shove a straw down someone's throat or crack a beer bottle and start one of those bar fights you see in Western movies or like the one in the second movie of The Pirates of the Caribbean. I gripped the sink's edges and breathed loudly.

Steph patted my back. "I know it's hard. I know -"

"Does she have to be so chipper?" I interrupted, "does she have to be so . . . BRIGHT? Does she have to dress so well? Does she have to be frickin' perfect?!" I took a deep breath again. I noticed that Steph had started laughing and I death stared her reflection in the mirror.

She gave me a wry smile. "Honey, see? You're jealous of her already. It's not because she's unnecessarily and annoyingly 'chipper' or the fact that she looks like she stepped off some asian movie set but it's because she's with Bryce. It's because he had his arm wrapped around HER. I don't know how to overcome envy because it's a very big green-eyed monster. Just try to tolerate it at least. For me, please? Just for tonight and for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. I mean, if you're lucky they'll break up in a matter of four days," Steph offered with a shrug.

I shook my head. "No. Steph, don't do that for me. Don't wish them bad luck for me. This is MY problem. This is YOUR day. I need to remember that and to stop forgetting it. Come on, let's go outside."

. . . and that's how I ended up here. We're just chatting now after some exhausting hours of dancing and a little drinking on my part. A little because after the whole One-Night-Stand fiasco that ruined my past love life I pretty much detested alcohol. At least I had made a couple of new friends and a lot more acquaintances out of Steph's friends, meaning I won't be a loner at her and Nick's wedding.

I inwardly groaned as I saw Rachel coming out of the dancing crowd, thumping with liveliness, and joining me on the smooth, long, electric blue lounge. She smiled at me and dramatically sighed and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Woo! Getting tiring in there! Didn't you want to dance?" She asked me, her breath heaving, proving it HAD been tiring.

"No. I'm not in the dancing mood today." I wanted to tell her to go away. I mean, I know I'm behaving like a massive bitch, even if it is all in my head.

"Oh. Well . . . You're the only one of the girls I'm not well acquainted with yet so I figured I'd talk to you. Keep you company and all."

She was so achingly nice. She would never hurt Bryce. No wonder Bryce was with her. "Thanks," I replied, "but you can go back if you want to. I just . . . feel dead today." I gave her a small smile and hoped she took the message.

She did. "I'll see you at the rehearsal dinner, then."

Yeah. I'll also see Bryce.

*************

Analysing things, I think I know why I still like Bryce. I mean, I think it's partially because I'm attracted to him, chemistry and hormones aren't exactly something you can turn off and on like a switch. If it were, I wouldn't need to analyse how I felt and why. So apart from attraction, I think it's that Bryce and I never finished. He shouted, I ran. He blamed, I apologised. Then nothing.

It felt like reading a great book and stopping in the middle, not knowing it's further potential; not knowing what would've happened. That and I haven't felt about anyone like I did with Bryce. I had a short fling with a guy in college but I had Harriette, I still do. With a struggling home business, a child and just life in general, it wasn't really like having a guy was my main concern.

That was probably why my thoughts would drift to that night, to the morning after. I would pick it apart like a puzzle, even though the picture was complete and clear: I messed up. I would continuously wonder, Would it have been better if I didn't sleep with Harry? Would it have been better if Ivy didn't cheat on Harry?

The questions I asked myself were endless, and meaningless, to answer. The only question that mattered now was: What's going to happen now that I've met Bryce again?

**This chapter is dedicated to my beautiful, young art teacher that recently passed away on Friday the 14th. She was one of the most talented teachers I'd had, also the most patient and kind (considering the people in my class). She left a beautiful baby boy and her husband, as well as her mother and the rest of her family. R.I.P. VM**

++++++++++

Sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!