Fín {Third Book to Secret}

Fifty

Harry POV

May fell asleep after a while.

Her back is pressed against my front and she has my hand against her chest tightly.

I'm lost for words to what I found out.

How could anyone do that do an innocent child?

How could anyone do that to May?

I kiss the back of her head and watch her as she sleeps. I just want to make sure if she starts getting another nightmare I can wake her up before it gets bad.

What if she gets one and I'm not here to hold her and comfort her? What if she's left all alone to cry and panic? My chest tightens.

I replay what her she told me about the memory she had.

Her Mom came home during a storm drunk.

There's a storm outside currently. Would that make her think of that night?

Another thing that makes me sick is the drunk part.

May doesn't like to drink.

May doesn't like it when I'm drunk.

Now I know why.

I wish I could trade spots with her. If I could
I would in a heart beat. I wish I could take this pain away from her. I hate seeing May cry and struggle to calm down. It makes my heart hurt.

I kiss the top of her head and listen to the storm outside. It's still dark out, but not as dark so I think it's 4 in the morning now. I don't know the time since the power is out so I'm guessing.

***

May moves a little and I hear her yawn.

She turns around to face me and her blue gloomy eyes look into mine. "Good morning." I offer.

"Good morning." My girlfriend says softly. "Have you been awake long?"

"Just a few minutes." I know if I told her I've been up all night making sure she's okay she'll feel bad and push me away. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." Her voice is low. "Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry for always freaking out when you drink." May tells me.

"Please don't say sorry May."

"You're not her though. You've never hit me or done anything like she has. When you're drunk you're just giggly then you fall asleep."

"May I'm not mad at you, okay?"

"It's not about if you're mad at me. It's about that I treat you like you're some abusive lunatic when you're drunk and I shouldn't. I always put my own problems on you like that and I don't mean too." Her blue eyes look sadder.

"You have every right to hate it when I drink."

"But I shouldn't be a dick when you do." Her eyes look down. I kiss her temple and her cheeks.

"Babe?"

"Yes?"

"You have a right to hate things in this world. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable and sad like this May."

"Harry-" I cut her off.

"I love you more than life itself. I want you to be happy. I want you to forget what you're parents did to you or what might bring back these memories. If that means I don't drink in front of you or near you then I'm fine with that."

"Can we compromise?" May asks. My head tilts. "Relationships are about compromises, so can I say one?"

"Okay." My fingers run through her hair. "What should we compromise?"

"You can drink but up to 4 or 5 drinks. You said you have a high tolerance so I think that number is good, yes?" Her blue eyes look up at me.

"Okay." I lean down and kiss her. I'm still probably not going to drink. I just know she's trying to be nice and negotiate with me.

***

The power came back on at 2 in the afternoon. Currently we're watching TV in her room. It's 5 now. We're watching How I Met Your Mother. It's a good show, I like it.

Tomorrow is Monday and I have work. This means that I have to go back to my apartment later tonight.

"What did you want to do for dinner?" May asks.

"What would you like?"

"I don't know." She turns around and faces me. "You?"

"It doesn't matter to me." My fingers play with hers.

"Did you want to order in? I'm not in the mood to cook and clean." I smile at her words.

"Sounds good to me." I kiss her.

"You're not spending the night since tomorrow you have to work, right?" She asks me.

"Sadly so." I huff softly. Her face goes into my neck and I feel her lips touch my cheek.

"How'a the house?" May asks.

"Finished." It's been done since last month. Now it's just empty with some of our things in there.

"I miss living with you." She murmurs against me.

"I miss living with you too baby."

A://N

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~lauren