Anna || HS

Anna 2- Epilogue Milo

*** All of the epilogues for the children are written from Anna's perspective looking back. The children are now adults and she is remembering how each weathered the loss of their father and grew into adulthood.

~ Milo Edward Styles~

Birthday: 7/21/20 (Age at Harry's death: 3 years old)

Milo has had his dads musical talents for as long as I can remember. He'd sit in the studio for hours with Harry, watching him play the guitar, or write lyrics, or mix something on the soundboard. Though he was so young when Harry died, nobody can convince me that he doesn't have vivid memories of that time with his dad because there was, and still is, such an uncanny familiarity watching him do his thing.

August might have been the spitting image of Harry when he was born, but as Milo aged, the Styles genes were undeniable in him, even more so than they were in August. Maybe he started to look like Harry because the universe was willing another Harry Styles into existence. If anyone had the talent to dethrone the original, it would be Milo. At sixteen, he started working with producer friends of Tom's, because Tom was busy at the time working with other artists. His friend sent him what Milo was piecing together and Tom flew to Los Angeles to help Milo beg me to allow him to drop the school thing and just do music. I refused, saying that he needed to finish high school first. It was only a few years and he could still write and play all the gigs he wanted, as long as he graduated.

That denial sent him down a very dark path. Where Hazel was able to pull out of things on her own, Milo got too deep into the partying and drugs that went with all of it and required a type of intervention I don't wish on my worst enemies. He hated me for pulling him away from recording and school to do a stint in rehab, but I wasn't messing around. I couldn't afford to lose anybody else- Harry would never forgive me. I would never forgive myself.

He spent a few years hating me, but he hated me sober and so I happily sat on the sidelines of his life. Tom started working with him on his first album, so he kept me informed on his life as much as he could. I also had Ben and Meredith keeping me informed on his life. Honestly, Ben and Meredith became like his second parents because he fell in love with their daughter as a teenager.

Grace Winston has been his Anna since they day they met. I will never be able to properly thank her because though it was my signature that got him into rehab, it was his love for her that kept him there. There was a bit of an ultimatum from her parents for him to clean up or forget that Grace existed. So, I'm forever indebted to them, as well.

Milo and Grace haven't necessarily done things in the prescribed order, but that doesn't surprise me about him. They ended up getting pregnant right after he left rehab, when Milo was nineteen and Grace was twenty-one. Though not ideal, Ben, Meredith and I hoped that perhaps the catapult into fatherhood would keep him sober, which, thankfully, it did.

Milo has been in love with Los Angeles for as long as I can remember. When he and Grace told us about the babies on the way, I immediately offered them the L.A. house. I'd not been there in months and only used it as a stopping by spot to visit people and I could easily get an apartment for that purpose. It also gave me an opportunity to get in Milo's good graces, because our relationship suffered for years following me making him stay in school. He blamed me for his downfall and subsequent battle, and that took a long time for us to both get over. Thankfully, after the twins were born, perspectives changed and lines of communication opened back up.

They had twins- Ryker (a son) and Harris (their daughter) in October. The twins turned one before they finally decided that they liked each other enough to get married (that and Ben and Meredith were always more traditional and gently pushing for that next step over the last year of their four-year relationship). The wedding was a small, private Jewish ceremony in January, with Milo converting to Judaism over the months preceding the wedding.

Shortly after their first anniversary, Milo released his first album, following in Harry's footsteps naming it Milo Styles. Though he had put out EP's in the past, this was his first studio album and the pressure on him, as Harry Styles' son, to deliver was intense. Milo, of course, delivered with a bang. His freshman album rivaled his dad's on the charts and the comparisons made were kind and honest- his talent was undeniable, and though some listened first because his last name was Styles, they stuck around because Milo was a star in his own right.

Milo and Grace decided early on to tour as a family, bringing Ryker and Harris along to every stop. Being backstage at his shows gave me a feeling of nostalgia like I'd never known in any other aspect of my life. Especially when he played the same venues as Harry had. The often eerie similarities of the backstage areas gave me many moments of sadness, but then they would be immediately replaced by the joy of watching my son do what he loves.

For the first show he ever had at MSG, which was one of Harry's favorite venues to play, Milo took the same picture that we had framed in the New York apartment of Harry in One Direction, then again as a solo artist. He presented it to me at the show, making me come on stage and sit on a stool as I opened it. "Now that can hang next to dad's," he said as I opened a framed picture of his back showing with his arms stretched out over the arena. "I'm not done yet, though," he said as he leaned over to whisper to me. "Don't be mad. Uncle Mitch told me it would be fine, so be mad at him if you are."

Mitch came out to join Milo on stage, carrying his guitar and wearing a soft smile as the chord progression for Oh, Anna started. I hadn't heard the song since Harry died. It was the one song I requested that nobody ever cover. It was also the one song I never listened to and I think Milo knew that enough time has passed. As he pranced on the stage, different than his dad, but still so talented, I could feel Harry's presence surrounding me, proud of our boy. There were even moments when his voice sounded so much like Harry's. I remember being grateful that it was an upbeat song because I shed a few tears, but Oh, Anna is a hard song to cry to.

As he finished the song he came over and we embraced as the audience went wild for a different Styles than they had all those years ago. "I love you mom."

"I love you, too. Dad would have been so proud- no dad IS so proud. I know it," I tell him as we face the audience together, holding hands. I leave the stage and watch from the side with Grace, each of us holding a headphone-clad toddler on our hips. Over the years, this is a place I end up watching a lot of his shows from and it makes me so happy to watch him living his dream. Maybe I was wrong to stop him at sixteen, but I think it turned out alright.