FALLING | MxM (completed)

Chapter 45

Edited

Aiden had woken Edwin up after watching him sleeping for about 10 minutes of admiring the delicate and ethereal face of the blue-haired boy in his bed. He had made him a bubble bath cos he had somehow gone rough on the boy last night and he kind of felt guilty, although Edwin had seemed to enjoy it. A lot.

He wanted to order some food cos even asleep, Edwin looked a little pale. The younger hadn't eaten much the past few days, and he seemed to eat less and less with each passing day. Aiden was worried, really worried.

Of course, Edwin was a psychiatrist, but the poor boy had lost the only person close to him and his goal in life along with her, so all the psychology theories and lessons didn't seem to be able to save him from his pain. To Aiden, he seemed like a vulnerable, innocent, lost human being. One he wanted to embrace tightly and protect from the world. And that was what made him confused the most. He knew he liked Edwin from the start. From when he gave the nickname 'bluewin' to him. But he thought it was just the kind of 'like' he felt for a friend.

And in time, the wish to feel those plump lips formed in his mind. He had wanted to know how it would feel to have those beautiful lips pressed against his own. To feel the heat and have a taste of the other man. He knew it was crazy and that he shouldn't do it cos he wouldn't want to put anyone in Ian's position ever again, but he couldn't resist it. The fact that he knew Edwin liked him, not in a bro way, didn't help him either.

The doctor's eyes showed everything, like he was wearing his heart on his sleeve, screaming what he was feeling by the beautiful pink hue on his cheeks every time Aiden got a little bit too close to him.

And at first, it was fun doing it. Getting close and teasing him, throwing a few flirty words at him to see the cute reaction of the doctor. He genuinely enjoyed the night conversation they had back at the hospital. He thought once he was out, Edwin could move on. As the time passed though, he knew he couldn't shut the boy out of his life. That he needed to talk to him even for 30 seconds every two or three days. And he was now blaming himself for being, once again, a greedy asshole.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. Guilty for making the young man in his bed fall for him. Sure, he hadn't actually made him, but he could've not flirted or kept his distance or been the asshole everyone at the company called him. That would have been much easier for both of them in the end. Especially for Edwin. If it wasn't for the sensitive situation at the company at the moment, he wouldn't be able to spend all this time with the younger cos he would be at his studio making music for his next album although it wouldn't be in the next 7-8 months. He was also feeling guilty for not being able to help him. Not being able to give Lili back to him somehow. Of course, it wasn't something anyone could do, but he couldn't help but feel useless. Edwin was devastated and there was nothing he could do except for hugging him and telling him it was all going to be okay in the end, although he doubted it himself pretty much so.

He wanted to confess to Edwin. To tell him how much he liked him. Everything about him. From the way his cheeks would be round and puffy in the morning to the way he rubbed his eye by the side of his index finger unlike anyone else who would do the action by bending the finger. The way he talked, smooth and a bit slower than what he was used to. The sound of his laugh, so unlike his talking voice, being higher in note. The way he would laugh at every silly joke he would say, even if no one else found it funny. He wanted to tell him how he loved his body so much, although the other was sometimes self-conscious about it. To him, it seemed ridiculous cos he was absolutely gorgeous. He wanted to say he wanted him to be his boyfriend, but then, what about the times he had to go away? With his fame rising day by day, he would have to go on more tours, meaning less time being at home, therefore less time to spend with the doctor. He didn't want to do that to him. He didn't want to ruin him like he ruined Ian. And he was also afraid of losing Edwin in the end, just like he had lost Ian.