FALLING | MxM (completed)

Chapter 35

Edited

Ever since Aiden had been discharged, they all took turns in staying with him, making sure he ate his meals properly and stayed away from alcohol. He had told them he didn't need babysitters and that they should just let him be, but they couldn't risk it again. Today was Edwin's turn. As he arrived at Aiden's doorstep, just before he could ring the bell, the door was opened by a very good-looking man that he remembered from somewhere. The man got shocked upon seeing him right in front of himself and stared at him for a couple of seconds before leaving quietly, but with fast steps. Edwin looked at the guy walking away, thinking about where he had seen him before, and suddenly it came to his mind. It was Ian. Aiden's ex, Ian.

Feeling uneasy and worried about the singer, he walked in cautiously but he only saw Joe in the living room, sitting with his head thrown back, staring at the ceiling.

"Joe? Was that Ian?!" He asked while putting his backpack and jacket on the kitchen counter. Joe's body jerked as he still hadn't realized Edwin had come and looked at him with widened eyes before relaxing his features again and sitting up.

"Yeah..." He sighed, looking to the other side, and then put his hands on his knees, pushing himself up. "Now that you're here, I'll get going." He paused on his way to the door. "Oh, and uh... don't push him now. He's... he's not in a good condition."

Edwin nodded. He already knew Aiden wouldn't be in a good condition as soon as he saw Ian walking out of his place. After Joe left, he walked to the bedroom in slow steps, as there was no sound coming from there.

Looking inside, he saw the man lying in bed. He thought he was asleep, so he turned on his heels to get out, but then the other called his name. He made his way to bed and sat on the edge, looking down at a red-eyed Aiden. Had he cried?

As soon as their eyes met, Aiden smiled at him. One of those smiles that were genuine and warm, not the fake ones he threw at people sometimes. Edwin could tell the difference easily.

Aiden's eyes were on Edwin's but they moved to the other's hair that was beautifully parted, the nose, the cheeks, and the lips. And then he sat up.

"Do you wanna go somewhere?"

Edwin was taken aback by the sudden offer. "Do you have a place in mind?" Aiden thought about it for a second, exhaled, and then nodded. "The arcade, let's go to the arcade."

"But won't people recognize you?"

"I'll wear a hat and a mask. Come on." Patting Edwin's thigh and jumping out of the bed, he went to change his clothes. Edwin just sat there and watched him as he did.

After four hours of constant playing, fooling around, and screaming like kids, whether they won or lost, they were sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice cream. Aiden was quiet. Too quiet, and Edwin didn't like it.

He knew something was wrong from the way the older had escaped to the land of games to avoid thinking, but he didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it. Edwin's doctor instinct told him that he needed to get it out of him cos it's never healthy to keep it in. "So... wanna tell me what happened today?"

Aiden looked at him from the side of his eyes and seemed surprised. He probably didn't know Edwin saw Ian leaving.

"Come on. I saw Ian at the door. You can talk to me. I won't tell."

Aiden looked at him and laughed. "Who are you even gonna tell, silly!" And then the smile changed to sadness and disappeared.

"He told me that I should move on. That... that the accident wasn't my fault and I shouldn't blame myself for it anymore. He said he let me blame myself in the past months cos he wanted me to be in pain for the things I put him through, but he couldn't take it anymore. To tell you in a nutshell, he doesn't hate me that much anymore, but that's only because he's an angel, not because what I did could be easily forgiven..." Aiden's voice cracked and Edwin immediately put his hand on his shoulder for emotional support.

"Will you tell me about this accident you mention so often? Does it have anything to do with your constant nightmares?" Edwin felt how the older's muscles tensed under his palm and how he gasped, holding his breath.

"When I came back from a tour, I went to Ian's office and he broke up with me that day. But I didn't wanna let it go without a fight. You know, I wanted to try fixing it if possible. I told him we had to talk and that I'd pick him up from his place. I had a whole love confession planned with lots of flowers and everything at a restaurant out of town. On our way there, we got hit by another car. It hit us on Ian's side." Aiden bit hard on his lip several times. "I wasn't even scratched. It didn't appear to be a fatal accident, but then when I looked at Ian, he was..." He exhaled roughly while a tear or two dropped from his eyes. "His whole face was covered in blood and he didn't answer me." Aiden paused as he wasn't able to talk with all the sobbing. Edwin moved closer to him and put his arm over his shoulder while Aiden cried with his head low and tears dropped to the ground.

"He was... he was in the coma for two weeks. His body wasn't injured. Only his brain cos he was hit in a fatal part. And because I had a tour, I had to leave him there like that. There was nothing I could do. I tried everything to stay, but they wouldn't let me. I left him there like that. And then when he woke up, I flew back to see him, but he didn't want that. He told the guys not to let me in. So I never saw him again until the day he came to the hospital, and today." Aiden wiped his tears away and chuckled. "Aah, you really are a psychiatrist. You made me talk just like that."

Edwin watched him as he looked at the sky and tried to blink the tears away, but a few of them still found their way down on the temples and disappeared in his hair.

"But why would you blame yourself for the accident?"

"If I hadn't picked him up that day, none of it would've happened. And I took a root that no one really uses cos the accident ratio is rather high. I guess I just wanted to arrive there faster, taking the shorter root." Aiden suddenly stood up and stretched his body. "Come on, let's go home. I'll drive."

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Edwin had fallen asleep on their way home. Aiden was glad about it, as he actually wished the younger wouldn't be able to notice the place they were headed to. When they arrived at the parking lot, he shook the boy to wake him up. Edwin woke up rather quickly, unlike the usual. Looking around with droopy eyes, they widened a little when he realized they were, in fact, in his own apartment building's parking lot.

"Why are we here? I thought you said we're going home."

"Yes. We are. This is your home." Aiden got out of the car and opened the door for Edwin as the younger followed him out with a question mark on his face.

Aiden walked to the entry of the building and then stopped, turning around and waiting for a hesitant Edwin to arrive there. The other stopped in front of him, looking at him with a slight frown.

"Why are we here? Are you saying you wanna stay in my place for a change?"

Aiden smiled and shook his head. "I'm saying you should stay in your place for a change. Have you seen yourself in the mirror, Edwin? You look like a zombie. You're thinner than ever. You tell me to talk, but have you talked to anyone about Lili? You don't even bring her up, have you noticed? You don't need to take care of me. You're not responsible for that. I'm good and I'm leaving tonight for the tour."

"Tonight?! But- but Luis said-"

"Luis wanted to cancel the first city, but I didn't let him. Edwin, I... I know how you feel about me. It's written all over your face. And I like you, I really do, but you shouldn't be waiting for me. This is my life. I'm always on the road. I'm always gonna choose the stage first. I can't let it go. At least not now, and I don't wanna ruin another person like I did with Ian ever again. I'm better off alone. You're better off with someone who can be there for you. I didn't even bother to ask you how you were doing after everything. That's how much of a self-centered person I am. I don't want you to end up like Ian. You know he was— he was the sunshine. The actual sunshine with how much he smiled and fooled around, and now he's just like a broken machine. I won't call you. Don't call me either. Let's remain a good memory, okay?" Aiden talked without a pause and with a sad smile on his face as he grabbed Edwin's hands in his and caressed them throughout the whole speech. With one last squeeze and taking the sight in to carve it into his memory, he let go, put the car keys in Edwin's hand, and turned away. Edwin didn't follow him. He just stood there, looking at his back as he left.