HOCKEY IMAGINES [ UNEDITED ]

#151 - Auston Matthews - #34 Toronto Maple Leafs: Part Two.

"Hi." Auston and I said at the same time. We chuckled lightly at what just happened and then the chuckle died away, we are left in an awkward silence despite the music being played over the speakers. I looked over at Mitch who is staring at us from the living room, his eyes caught mine and he nudged his head in the direction of Auston who stands a foot or two away from me. I rolled my eyes and looked away from Mitch, who grinned cheekily at me.

Taking a deep breath, I turned around to Auston and gave an awful awkward smile that is forced. "So, how've you been?" 

"I've been good. A little disappointed that we didn't get into the second round of the playoffs, but it was an amazing experience. What about you? Still at York studying kinesiology?" He asked gesturing to me with his hand.

"Yeah, I am still at York and currently studying for my finals." I nodded, chugging a large amount of beer to be able to continue with this conversation, as my mind is screaming at me to run away from this.

Auston nodded as well, taking a drink from his beer as well. We stood in an awkward silence again, my eyes focused on the corner of the room and my finger tapped against the cold can of beer in my hand. It was never like this when we dated, we always had something to talk about and we were never silent when it came to conversations, we always had something to say on any matter. But now, silence is all that can be heard.

"What's your plans for the summer after your finals?" Auston wondered as he tried to strike up the dying conversation again. 

"Um, I'm probably just going to spend it here in Toronto. I don't have that much money to be able to travel anywhere outside of Ontario, still got that horrible part time job at the cafe." I chuckled bringing up an old memory of ours, Auston let out a deep chuckle as well and my stomach twisted at the sound of it. The same stomach twisting feeling I had when I first met him almost 7 months ago.

"What about you?" I asked pushing the feelings out of my thoughts. 

"I am going back to Arizona for a bit to see everyone, but after that I'm spending the rest of my summer here as well." Auston said trying to catch my gaze, but I never let him. Before I could speak up again, Auston butted in.

"Look, Y/N. I can't do this, I can't continue to be friends with you anymore." He told shaking his head and sat the can of beer down against the counter. I looked at him for the first time carefully and watched his movements, his eyes caught mine and they looked sad and in pain. I quickly darted my gaze away, my stomach going crazy when he looked at me the way he did. 

"I understand, we dated and had a rough break up. It's alright if you don't want to be friends anymore." I nodded feeling my eyes sting with tears, as I spoke words I never wanted to say. Auston sighed and shook his head again, his hand running through his dark brown locks.

"It's not because of that, it doesn't have to do with breaking up or anything. I still love you, Y/N. I'm still in love with you and it hurts seeing you and not being close like we use to be." Auston announced carefully. His hands gripping on either side of me. It was my turn to shake my head, I shook my head in disbelief. He's just saying this because he's drunk, right? 

"You can't still love me, we broke up, Auston, and I don't love you back." I lied hard untangling myself from Auston's hold. I sat my can of beer beside his and took off out of the kitchen, I caught Mitch's gaze and stormed over to him. My emotions going crazy as I start to believe Mitch had set this up.

"If you had set that up, Mitchell Marner, I swear to god. Why can't you just let me be? Why can't you see I am trying to get over him?" I shouted over the music. Mitch looked at me in shook before speaking up.

"What do you mean?" He asked genuinely in shook. I sighed and looked in the direction of the kitchen, Auston stood in the same position with his eyes focused on the spot where I once stood.

"Auston, he just said he still loves me." I told looking away from the kitchen where Auston still stood alone.

"And? It's not like any of us didn't know he still has feelings for you, and don't lie when you say you don't still have feelings for him. Everybody knows how close you were and if you both say there isn't any love left, you're both kidding yourself." Mitch said sternly. I looked to my friend in front of me and felt my eyes once again sting with tears. Is he right? Am I being blind to the fact that I still have feelings for Auston after our break up? I shook my head at my thoughts and started to walk away from Mitch, my feet dragging me out of Mitch's apartment and left the building.

I continued my journey out of the building and stopped when I saw the rain pouring from the sky at a fast pace, the droplets bouncing hard against the ground. I groaned, but braced myself for the downpour and rushed outside into the rainy night. I wrapped my jacket around me tighter, but it was no use as the rain beated down against me hard. I turned the corner to my street and then a hand grabbed hold of my shoulder, I screamed loudly and turned around quickly to find an equally drenched Auston looking at me worriedly, his brown eyes staring deeply into my eyes. I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and pulled my jacket closer to keep warmth in my body. 

"What do you want, Auston?" I shouted over the rain. Auston sighed and pushed back his wet hair that fell in front of his big eyes, my heart started to beat fast at the sight of him standing in the pouring rain drenched in wetness. 

"You left before I could explain myself to you, you at least deserve an explanation." Auston shouted back. A large clap of thunder vibrated through the sky and I jumped at the sound, I looked over at Auston who stared back at me with droplets of rain falling against his eyelashes. He looked at me from underneath his long lashes and my heart again felt like it was going to explode from my chest at the sight of him.

"I don't need to hear your explanation, Auston. We broke up." I told shaking my head.

"And I regret doing that, Y/N. Why can't you see that I do? Why can't you see that I am still in love with you after everything that's happened?" Auston shouted over another clap of thunder. I took a deep breath before answering him truthfully.

"Because I'm scared that it'll happen again, Auston. That we'll be together again and then you'll break up with me like you did before, I can hardly deal with our first break up. How do you think I am going to be able to deal with another one?." I said with my voice cracking. The rain poured heavier down against us making it harder for me to see Auston in the street, but I felt the warmth of him closer to me than before.

"I understand that, Y/N. But I've leaned from my mistakes, I would never hurt you again. You mean so much to me and I can't lose you like before, I love you far too much to hurt you again and I can see that I hurt you the first time and I apologize for that. Please, just give me a second chance, I promise I won't hurt you." Auston told taking a deep in take of breath.

"How do I know that, Auston? How do I know that you won't? How do I know that you won't ju-" Before I could finish my sentence, Auston placed his warm lips against my cold wet ones. His hand coming up and rested on the back of my neck, while I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. The taste of his soft lips against mine made my stomach twisted in happiness again, the feeling of being in his brace once again made a smile appear of my face.

"Does that answer your question?" Auston asked pulling out of the kiss out of breath, his forehead rested against my mine.

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, but I know I wouldn't have kissed you back if I didn't trust you." 

"So, you trust me?" 

"Did you not hear what I just said?" 

"I just wanted to hear you say it again." Auston chuckled when I gently slapped his soaked shoulder. The rain hit our faces hard, but it didn't matter as I was once again held by the man who I love and never stopped. 

A/N: 3 days until I graduate! I am so happy, I cannot wait. I don't know if updates are going to be frequent as I also have exams coming up next week, so I should really be studying for them.

Anyways, I hope this was alright. I'm not too sure about this, I know it can be better. Apologies for mistakes and all that. 

-Lauryn.