HOCKEY IMAGINES [ UNEDITED ]

#182 - Nolan Patrick - #19 Philadelphia Flyers

I don't think it is in anyone's thoughts to get pregnant at age nineteen, it certainly was not in my thoughts to end up having a baby. I have only just started my post-secondary studies and already I have gotten myself pregnant, great. Although it is most certainly a mistake for me to get pregnant at the current moment, I know that I at least it is partially my fault, there is a second person who is involved in this and that is my boyfriend Nolan.

Nolan and I have been dating for over a year, I have never felt anymore in love with someone as I do with Nolan. We started dating in his last season when he played for Wheat Kings and had yet to be drafted to the NHL, I knew that he would soon get drafted considering he was suspected to go number one. At first I thought we would only last a few months because of who he is and how crazy his schedule is, but surprisingly we have been together for more than a year and I am thankful every day that Nolan is in my life. He is the greatest boyfriend ever, even though he isn't up in Winnipeg anymore. Since playing in the NHL, we don't get to see each other as much anymore because we are in two different countries. But when we get together again after many months apart, well it is safe to say we love to spend as much time with each other as we can before one of us has to leave.

When those two little lines formed on the pregnancy test, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. How can I be pregnant? Every time Nolan and I have sex we always use protection and are smart, we don't do anything stupid. Well there was that one time at Christmas when we got a little carried away, that was the last time Nolan and I had been together... which was a month ago. Oh my gosh, I am pregnant.

I am nineteen years old, pregnant, and my boyfriend lives in another country than me. Great. I have really thought out my life, haven't I?

I sink slowly to the tailed floor with the test curled in my fist, my back rests against the cupboard and my legs are stretched out in front of me. I feel myself go numb as I stare at the test, how could we be so careless when it came to that? We have always thought ahead and never done anything rash, and then it clicks with me. I have a tiny human growing inside me, a creation of both Nolan and I is growing inside of me. I place my hand against my stomach and let out a small breath of air when I think about Nolan and I becoming parents, I have our children growing inside of me. I did not think we would ever get this far with our relationship, but here we are.

I have to tell Nolan about being pregnant with his child, he has a right to know that I have his child crying inside of me. But what if he doesn't want to hear this? What if he doesn't want me to have his child? We are young, we have our whole lives ahead of us, and well Nolan doesn't even live in the same country as me, never mind the same province. I can't fly out to see him, not when I have just started classes again after the break. And as much as Nolan has said he'd pay for my flight to Philadelphia, I can't use his own money even when he tells me that I can. It'll be months again before I see him, his hockey season will end in April if his team doesn't make the playoffs, and I'll be about five months pregnant then. I can't wait until he's back in Winnipeg to tell him because I will be showing a baby bump, I need to do it now. I need to tell Nolan I am pregnant with his child.

I fish into my pocket and pull out my phone, my hands shake uncontrollably with the fear and anxiety that fills every bone in my body. I pull up Nolan's number and my thumb halts over the call button, soon my breathing becomes heavy and I begin hyperventilating in the bathroom as I stare at Nolan's contact photo.

What if he breaks up with me when I tell him? What if he tells me to get rid of the baby? What will happen if he doesn't want to be with me anymore because I am pregnant? I don't think I can go through this alone, I need Nolan to be there with me throughout this whole pregnancy, he is my rock like I am with him. If he breaks up with me and leaves me alone, I don't know what I will do. I need him in my life.