TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPT (Not written, just mentioned lots).
TW: EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION: 'I'll kill myself if ____' (ONLY ONCE)
TW: self harm SCARS
TW: insanity (some of the paragraphs might scare you).
TW: mentions of psych wards
tw: swearing
this oneshot mentions suicide, insanity, psych wards, etc. and self harm a lot. if you feel uncomfortable, PLEASE skip this oneshot!
in no way do i mean any disrespect to anyone who undergoes self harm, has attended psych wards, gone through emotional manipulation or has attempted any type of self harm/suicide. i, myself, understand and have went through the struggles. I write about these topics for awareness. I've been through all of these and more, and I'm substituting my favourite content creator(s) for my own entertainment and for your education. please, if you contemplate doing any of the list above, talk to somebody. no matter who it is. I love you and so many people want you to stay. your life is valued by thousands. we want you here! stay strong. love you always, DMs remain open.
SAPNAPS PERSPECTIVE:
My phone rings. I pick it up, and see that George is calling.
"Dude, you live with Dream, where is he? He's not answering any of my messages or calls."
I roll my eyes, even though he can't see it. "Hah hah, very funny. It's serious, don't make jokes dude," I mumble.
"What? I'm being real with you, where the fuck is he?" George snaps.
Does he seriously not know?
"...you haven't heard?" I say quietly.
"Heard what?!"
"He tried to commit suicide two nights ago, George."
The call falls silent. After a minute of no noise, he hangs up.
I say to myself, "trust me George. I know it's hard."
-- THE NEXT DAY --
I arrive at his hospital room.
The doctor allows me to walk in, but tells me to try keep my voice quiet, even if he's awake.
I go in, and see him on the hospital bed.
"Heyy..." I say, quietly. "You okay...?"
"I tried to kill myself three days ago. But, sure, I'm perfectly fine," he says sarcastically.
What's gotten into him?
I look at the scar on his neck, then ones on his wrist. I follow them all the way up his arm, then find my gaze back to the larger scar along his throat and neck.
"My eyes are up here. I know that scars are just sooo great to look at," he, again, says sarcastically.
"Look, what the hell has gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?"
"Because, Sapnap. Nobody seemed to care until I was in this hospital bed. You never noticed the blades in my room. You never noticed the scars on me. So why care now? Why care when it's all been done? When theres no going back? HUH?!" he yells.
I flinch, eyes wide. I stumble backwards. I find myself breathing heavy.
Dream takes a breath. "No one sees my sadness until it turns into anger. Just like that. Now I'm the bad guy. Now I'm the one scaring you."
"I... Dream.. I think you- I think you need help. Serious help. Not just medical attention, I- I think you need serious help," I stutter.
"You're just like the rest of them... Send me to a psych ward then, where I'll SERIOUSLY lose my mind this time. I'll kill myself if you send me there."
I, quickly, leave the room. I close the door and look down the hallways and rush to the nearest nurse.
She turns around, "hello?"
"Hi- my friend, he's- he's insane. I think he's seriously losing his mind. He's in room 608, just down there- he started to blame me for his suicide attempt and said he'd kill himself if I sent him to a psych ward."
"Oh my, I'll tend to him right away. I think we'll have to send him to-"
"NO, PLEASE. I- he- he said he'd kill himself! He'd kill himself if he was sent somewhere!" I hold onto her arm, glassy cover of tears clouding my eyes.
"Sir, I need to see him."
(DREAM GETS SENT TO A PSYCH WARD. 9 MONTHS LATER, HE COMES BACK)
-- PICKING UP DREAM --
I get out of the car to see him for the first time in 9 months. I walk into the building, and see him at reception. He looks at me, his eyes are wide.
He runs straight to me. I can't even look at him, he runs directly to me. He throws his arms around me, hugging me so tightly.
"Please, get me home," he whispers into my ear in a trembling voice.
-- AT HOME --
"At the hospital... you really scared me," I start.
"I don't even remember what I was like. It was ages ago. I've forgotten everything. I forgot what George looks like or sounds like," he says quietly.
"You told me you'd kill yourself if I sent you to a psych ward. And you said that 'nobody seemed to care until you were in a hospital bed' and that I was 'just like the rest of them.'"
"Fuck. I'm really sorry, I don't even remember who I was."
"It's chill. Just scared the shit out of me at the time. How was the psych ward?"
Dream seems to look down.
"...sorry," I say quietly.
"No... it was... it was fine. You can talk about it."
"Did they even feed you? You look so... sorry. I shouldn't've said that."
"They did, the food just ate shit. That stuff was fucked," he laughs.
I chuckle. "I'm glad you're back."