✓ 𝐊𝐏𝐎𝐏 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒, boyxboy.

044 | changki

⁀➷ ( changkyun & kihyun from monsta x)

⁀➷ angst

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT

changkyun stared blankly at the walls of his room, not feeling anything at all. he stayed still, his eyes not breaking from the spot he's been staring at for around an hour and a half.

the boy felt so empty, he didn't even think he could fake any more happiness. all he really wanted to do was die.

but then, he thought about kihyun, and his friends too. kihyun would be devastated, and his friends would cry endlessly, he knew.

he spent a bit thinking about it, but then, he stopped. getting up from his bed and breaking eye contact with the wall, he grabbed his phone, and ran out of his apartment.

he ran until he found a decently sized building. opening the door, he found the stairs leading to the roof. by this point, changkyun was sobbing his eyes out, everything around him turning blurry.

he took out his phone, opening the groupchat that his friends and boyfriend were in.

he sent them a text, explaining what was going on.

me:
hey guys, by the time you're reading this, there's a chance i'll already be dead. i just wanted to thank you all for everything you've done for me. you've given me endless amounts of love and support. having you guys as friends was probably the closest thing to a family i had. and kihyun, i want you to remember i love you. you've made me feel loved when no one else did, and i thank you for that, but lately i've been feeling empty. like nothing mattered. i didn't feel happy or sad, just empty. i don't feel anything anymore, and i just want to die, so yeah, don't bother finding me, please. i love you all, please remember that.

after hitting send, changkyun fell to  the ground of the roof, his back leaning against the railing. he was crying harder than before. he rested his head onto his knees as he sobbed aggressively, his head starting to hurt.

he must've sat there for a good twenty minutes. deciding that he was finally going to jump, changkyun sat up. he used the railing to steadily get up from the ground. at this point, the boy was shaking. 

he sighed, looking down at the ground, the sound of cars in the distance. leaning against the railing, he rose himself up.

as he was getting ready to jump, the door bursted open. changkyun's head snapped in that direction. "baby, please don't!" he heard the familiar voice of his boyfriend.

changkyun once again fell to the ground in sobs. kihyun ran to sit beside him. the younger being too embarrassed to look at the other, he kept his head down.

kihyun moved so that he was facing the crying boy. "changkyun, why?" he asked in broken sobs. the younger simply kept his head down, too ashamed to face his boyfriend.

"changkyun, please. look at me," the older begged, tears falling from his eyes. the younger looked up, his swollen red eyes looking into kihyun's.

"changkyun, please don't ever do this again, please. i love you so much, and the thought of you being dead is way too much for me to handle. please, if you feel like this again, come to me and i'll do my best to help you. just, don't try this again," kihyun said, still crying.

changkyun nodded, too afraid to speak. he knew his voice would crack. kihyun leaned closer to the other, wrapping him in a hug. the younger rested his head on kihyun's shoulder.

"let's get out of here, okay?" kihyun proposed, lifting changkyun up from the ground.

the younger felt weak, so he clung against kihyun. while walking to kihyun's apartment, there was silence filled with some apologies from changkyun.

they both spent an emotional night, promising to each other that they would share their problems more often.

a/n: i was just in an angsty mood... i hope you enjoyed this oneshot <3