Super Duper Short, Short Stories

The Sadist

I watched contently as the Sun rose from the east, lighting up the dawn. It was one of those rare things that went right in the universe that I actually liked and did not oppose. Scratch that. It was the only thing in the universe that I didn't mind.

You see, I'm a sadist. My nature is to rebel against anything and everything that I see, hear or touch. The more I rebel, the more suffering I cause to the person/ thing/ animal. Yums! I love pain. More specifically, I love seeing someone suffering.

I have a gift too. I can hear inanimate objects speak, even animals and plants. I suppose I can communicate with them too but I've never tried to.

I hear a soft and continuous buzz behind me as I walk away from the show that has ended; the sun rising. I hear the bee murmur about how many chores and it's to-do checklist for today. I smirk and hold up my palm to hit the bee. Plop! The bee was caught by surprise and fell to the grass.

'owww..' it cries out in pain.

It tries to flap it's wings but realizes that I have crippled them. I watched in glee, proud that I've managed to cause harm to yet another innocent creature.

I don't want to have a swarm of bees hunt me down later on for me evil deed so I make it look like an accident; I mercilessly step on the bee. Mission accomplished! Then I wandered of aimlessly in the open field, waiting for another victim to torture. Call me what you will, for if you were to call me a cold, heartless beast or even a monster without an ounce of compassion, I'd yawn, bored and unaffected by your comment. Give it all to me, I've heard all that there is in the book. Heck! It's even been countlessly repeated to me, I could recite you all the insults there ever existed that applied to me.

I like this one that an elderly woman used 'you heartless, insufferable four legged cow! You ought to be fed to my tortoises! What's that slang you kids nowadays use? Bad tart? Yes! That's it! You bad tart!' then she poked me with her cane. Oh.. They're so funny these people.. All I did was nail her dog to her front door.. It was hard work you know, with all the blood spluttering out and the dog whining and struggling against me.

I was proud of my work and I thought it was quite funny. The dog deserved it anyway! It loved to pee on my yard and kill the grass. Not that I didn't have fun watching them wilt.

Oh the irony! It must be a sign! That lady had called me 'a four legged cow' and I happen to be standing right in front of one!!! I feel in luck today!

I pinch the cow and it mooed. I scratched the cow, same reaction. I tried my hand at milking, I love the way you have to pull their udders.

So I pulled one. This time the cow let out a strained moo and I pulled longer.. What is this thing made of anyway? It feels like rubber.. Hmm.. Let me test it's elasticity to prove my hypothesis.

I kept pulling, it kept mooing. I pulled harder, it mooed at a higher pitch this time, as it screaming.. I laughed so hard and my tears flowed freely. Boy! Was I enjoying myself!

Suddenly, I felt as if the udder I was holding onto had detached. Looking at my hand, it proved me right. I was disappointed as that would have wronged my hypothesis. I had fun anyway, it was worth the trouble.

I look underneath the cow that was now trying to kick me. I saw a few other udders and I eenie meenie minee moed in picking my entertainment tool. I had made a serious mistake..

When I looked down, the cow somehow exerted enough force to let all the milk in it fall to my face, which was more like water coming from a shower hose.

After it was done with it's act of vendetta, it trampled and kicked me all over. I was it's victim now..

I didn't like it, but thank God for the fact that I didn't drown in the flood of milk that it let go on my face..

I get up and check myself.. I'm to busy to notice my surroundings..

I look up.. Woah! It all looks wrong! The whole place is red.. I'm starting to burn.. Literally.. I hear a deep chuckle echoing the place, belong to a voice that I'm sure is not mine. Where am I????!!

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你好！ thanks for reading!

A suggestion: let's makeup a ninja dance!! : D

<3 E