Dance with Me [h.s] (Completed)

Chapter 56

Wednesday's training begins tension filled as I go back to not speaking. I watch as Zayn and Harry exchange glances throughout, apparently so close now that they can wordlessly communicate. I fight the urge to make fun of them for it and continue on with my silent protest.

They don't try to purposely sabotage the routines today to get me to talk so that's an improvement. Harry has also decided to not push it by trying to dance with me. My resolve weakened yesterday momentarily while we danced and I don't want it to happen again. It's as if my body reacts before my brain can catch up. My muscle memory working against me when I melt into his hold. Even the flashback of his hands on me has goosebumps creeping up my arms.

We move into working on our Paso Doble today and I'm glad to be able to practice an impassioned and emotional dance; it means that I don't have to fake a smile today.

I brought my practice skirt to use and swishing it back and forth is fueling my creative juices. This dance has always been about the man playing the bull fighter and the woman being the bull that he tames but what if it wasn't. What if the bull tames the man? Or what if the bull represents a part of the man that he is trying to gain control over? A part of himself that he is trying to bury and forget about.

I stop paying attention as Zayn and Harry discuss minor tweaks they can make to the dance we did at the last competition.

They're boring me.

I hit shuffle on my music and begin moving, feeling the beat, sashaying around the room as I wait for them to determine what we're doing. The music changes to Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball and I begin making up a Paso Doble routine as I go. The tempo works great as it goes between fast and slow. I can do the strong strides for the fast part and the slower turns when the music ebbs.

When I get to the triumphant last chorus, I push harder, caught up in the lyrics, "All I wanted was to break your walls."

The song finishes and I turn to see Zayn and Harry staring at me, with eyes wide and eyebrows lifted.

"What was that? Have you been working on that routine?" Zayn asks.

I shake my head no.

"You just made that up? On the spot?" he goes on.

I nod my head, feeling a bit self conscious because I hadn't realized they were paying attention to me. Plus, I didn't really mean to do that; I got carried away by the emotions in the song. The same emotions that I was feeling about Harry not letting me in.

"There's our dance," Harry says matter of factly. "Now we just have to remember what you did."

"No, no, no! I was just goofing around. I wasn't being serious," I try to protest.

"Yeah, and your 'goofing around' was better than anything either of us was coming up with," Harry presses, air quoting 'goofing around'.

"How would you start it?" Zayn asks.

I think about the words to the song, a couple with one partner pushing the other one away until the other partner lets go, giving up the fight.

"I think it should start apart and then quickly together as they meet. A closeness that resembles intimacy but—" I pause trying to choose my words "—it's not real. It's all a lie."

I watch as Harry's head darts up, staring at me. That same hurt behind his eyes is there. Or maybe his eyes are just mirroring my own.

"And then the woman fights. She struggles to get close to him but he continues to deny her. Until she walks away," I finish.