Dance with Me [h.s] (Completed)

Chapter 53

Friday morning's ballet class feels completely lifeless without Harry here with me. The room is full of little children but without all the energy he brings to the room it seems empty and quiet. I go through the motions, helping them practice their routine for their competition next weekend.

The kids ask incessantly about Harry the minute they see that I am alone. I feel terrible telling them that he isn't coming. I've never seen them look so sad and it makes my heart hurt even more.

I go home and crawl into bed, knowing I have work tonight. I just pray that Harry respects my space. My nap is filled with dreams of a green-eyed man. His long hair tickling my face as he hovers above me. The hint of a dimple behind his beard when he smiles. I wake up nearly in tears again.

I wish he had told me from the beginning who he was. I don't understand why he would lie about his name. Yes, it would have been weird to meet the person who beat us at Worlds but at least it would have been the truth and not weeks and weeks of lies.

And that's how I knew that him lying about his name wasn't the only thing he lied about. I knew that there was more to it because, yeah, I probably wouldn't have been super happy about meeting the person who squashed my dreams but I wouldn't have blamed it on him. Unless...

Unless the reason that we lost didn't have anything to do with dancing. Unless there was another reason why we didn't win that trophy. Unless something Harry did was why I went home completely crushed.

It's the only thing that makes sense and it's the reason I broke things off with him. I didn't break up with him because he lied about his name and who he was. I broke up with him because I knew in my heart that he was the reason that I wasn't a World Champion. That something he did caused us to lose and I don't know if I could ever forgive him for that.

I arrive at the club that night and Jonesy greets me.

"Hey," he says leaning in close to whisper, "Boss ain't here tonight."

"What? Why?" I say, pulling my face back to look him in the eye.

"I don't know. Liam just said that he wouldn't be here tonight."

My heart drops in both relief and panic. I'm glad that I won't be having any uncomfortable interactions with him tonight but I'm worried about him. I still love him despite everything he's done. He's only missed one weekend the entire time I've been working here so it's unusual for him not to be here. It's especially conspicuous after us breaking up yesterday.

I don't want him to not come because he's avoiding me. He owns the place and should feel comfortable being here.

Maybe I should quit?

The night goes by smoothly without me having to worry about running into Harry. But I miss him. I hate myself for it but I do. I want to call him up right now and ask him where he is and if he's okay. And I know that makes me an idiot but I can't just flip the switch that makes me not love him anymore. That makes this hole in my chest disappear.

Saturday morning comes and it's my last practice with my kids before our competition next weekend. The room feels even quieter than yesterday like each day that I don't see him makes the echo of his absence larger.

I go to work and he's not there again. Carmen eyes me, assessing my reaction when Jonesy tells us that Harry won't be there tonight. I'm not even sure how to respond. I put my head down and fake my way through dancing tonight and then I hurry home to lie awake in my bed wondering where the hell he is and if I'm ever going to see him again.

On Sunday, Niall picks me and Carmen up and we head to my grandparent's for dinner. I sit in the back of the car and watch Niall hold Carmen's hand and then look at each other lovingly at every stoplight. I feel my eyes get watery and I have to force myself to look away. When we park in front of the house, I practically sprint out of the car to get inside and away from them.