Leopika Oneshot||Second Book Published

|Comfort|

TW: Self-harm, Mentions of suicide
Inspired by leopika_supremacy57's oneshot

Kurapika didn't know how it happened. What he did know was that now he was sitting on the bathroom floor. Five slits in his arm, slightly bleeding, he hadn't cut deep enough for it to be a lot. The box cutters he had used were on the floor next to him. He had thrown them there when he heard Leorio. He was shaking. He wasn't crying, to him he felt the tears were stuck.

Leorio knocked on the door again. "Sunshine," he said. "Are you alright?"

Kurapika opened his mouth to speak but only a broken sob came out.

"I'm going to open the door, okay," Leorio said. When he stopped speaking the doorknob turned and the door swung open. His eyes widened at the sight of Kurapika and he raced over. He kicked the boxcutters away and took Kurapika's arm. "Oh, baby," he said. "What happened?"

Kurapika shook his head. "I-I don't know," he said. "I just found the boxcutters and it just happened. I swear I've never done this before, Leorio! I-I've never cut!"

Leorio frowned. "Hey, it's okay, don't cry," he said, noticing the tears starting to form in Kurapika's eyes. "Were you feeling upset? Guilty?"

Kurapika nodded. "Both," he said. "I was looking for something and I was going through our old messages. I never actually read them before and you- and you seemed so upset when I didn't answer. I feel terrible."

"Don't feel bad," Leorio responded. "That was two years ago. Look, now we're married and living together. In two months we're going to finally adopt Amelia. And we have a cat; you love cats." He smiled and kissed Kurapika's cheek. "I'm happy."

Kurapika let out a sob and buried his head in Leorio's chest. "I know," he said. "I'm happy I'm with you too. But I'm terrible. You don't deserve me."

Leorio shushed Kurapika, petting the back of his head. "I do," he said. "I do deserve you. You're the best and I love you so much. Now let's get these cuts cleaned up, okay?"

Kurapika nodded. He held out his arm and watched as his husband cleaned and bandaged them. He felt terrible, yet he knew that Leorio wasn't mad.

Once Leorio was finished, he lifted Kurapika in his arms. Kurapika giggled at this gesture. He was carried into the living room and set on the couch. Leorio sat with him, holding him close. Soon, their cat jumped onto the couch and curled up into a ball.

"Kurapika," Leorio said. "Do you wanna know something?"

"What," Kurapika asked.

"I understand what you felt. When I was younger, maybe up until I was nineteen, I had a problem with self-harm. I have scars up and down my arms, see?" He rolled up his sleeves. Kurapika could see thin white lines. How had he not noticed them before?

"Why?"

"I also felt guilty. I started at ten, after seeing my mom- after seeing my mom hanging from the rafters. I stopped but then my friend died and I felt bad that I couldn't save him. But I realized it wasn't my fault and almost stopped. But what actually made me stop was when I met you, Gon, and Killua. Sometimes, I still get the urge but then I remember all three of you, Amelia, and even that stupid cat."

"His name is Cinnamon Bun," Kurapika corrected.

"Cinnamon Bun or whatever you like to call him."

"Bun-Bun, it's much easier."

Leorio chuckled. "Alright," he said. "Bun-Bun even helps sometimes. All of those things make it so much easier for me."

"I'm sorry," Kurapika muttered. "I love you too."

"I know, sunshine. I know."