13th Doctor x reader (3rd book)

Pick up

A/n: I've got one busy ass day with loads of exams packed tomorrow but I'm still here writing. I think it's a coping mechanism.

You'd manage to eat down the food. Some of it at least. With difficulty that was. You wanted to cry, though you knew you couldn't even do that if you wanted to. You felt like you were going to break down. The doctor and Missy both encouraged you though, and you forced yourself to get it down. You were hoping the water would help calm your sickness a little.

You were sat, watching as the doctor put the plate and glass away. You hadn't talked a lot while you were eating. And though you listened to what the two of them were saying, your mind did often wander. And not to good places. It was increasingly difficult to focus on the good.

"Right then. I was thinking about picking the others back up" the doctor spoke up enthusiastically "I've missed Yaz long enough. And Ryan's company. Strangely enough, Graham's old habits of staring the obvious as well" she smiled lightly.

"You two go. I'm just gonna stay here for a bit. Maybe even get some sleep...or try to. Do I need to be hooked up to these machines anymore?" You asked.

"No. That was just to make sure your heart's in the correct rhythm. And I took your iv out before you woke up" the doctor said, unclipping the thing that was on your index finger.

You let her take off weird wires and other devices as she switched off the machines.

"Okay then. Let's just go pick up the others. You can stay here is you want (y/n). Though I'd prefer it if you didn't lock yourself in your room you've been in there way too much the last few weeks" the doctor said as she walked towards the door.

"Yeah" you mumbled as the doctor and Missy both stepped out of the med bay.

You sighed heavily, as if your chest was weighing you down. You got up from the bed, trying to move your arms more. The pain was definitely dying down now. You could move better, though it sometimes felt strained.

You walked around the room slightly before passing over your scan. You just stared at it, silently thanking god that you didn't get yourself into some deep crap. You just felt so guilty though. You felt stupid for believing his facade and guilty for what you both did. You wished you could take it back. Or just that the guilt would go away. You knew Jason couldn't really be a good person. The person you fell in love with was no longer here.

You swallowed, moving away from the scan. You walked over, looking with interest at some of the medical equipments. You noticed how the doctor sometimes had a stethoscope on her in the bigger on the inside pockets of hers. But there was a lot of stuff you'd never seen before and that interested you here.

There were also things you knew too well. Like the scalpels. You stopped and just stared at it for a while, hearing echoing inside your head of all the bad things that scalpels had done to you. It wasn't always the bullies. To be honest, they'd only cut you a few times. You'd also cut yourself with them. It was fair to say your school didn't really have much of a safety system in place.

You stared at the sharp tool, with every second getting more and more obsessed with it. More tempted. You slowly reached towards it, the muffled voices starting to get louder and clearer the closer you got to it.

"I don't think that's a good idea do you?" You were startled by the voice behind you, barely even getting your fingers to graze the tool before you jumped.

You turned around quickly, your hand falling back down to your side as you saw Missy stood there with a frown on her face. You quickly looked down, avoiding her gaze. You knew, when either of the time lord's looked at you with such eyes, you couldn't hold the gaze. And you felt even more guilt when you caught a glimpse of hurt in Missy's eyes along with the sternness.

"S..sorry.." you whispered.

Missy took a deep breath, nodding her head as she relaxed. She sighed walked up to you, holding your hand gently, making you look up at her. She laced your fingers together as she gave you a small smile. It looked like a small sad smile.

"Come on. We're getting the others" Missy said softly, walking out of the room, taking you with her.

You couldn't help but notice how soft her hands were, or how your hand fit perfectly in hers, like pieces of jigsaw puzzles. You kept your fingers intertwined, and you felt yourself start to calm down.

"The doctor's exited to see the rest of her 'fam' again" Missy spoke up.

You were surprised she wasn't talking about how you nearly picked up yet another sharp object again. But you were glad she wasn't. You didn't know if you could talk about that anymore without your thoughts spiralling more than they already were.

"Yeah, I missed them all. Hopefully they feel better now that they've had a break" you said sincerely.

"I'm sure they will be" Missy smiled.

You both entered the console room and saw a very happy and exited looking doctor. She turned to you and once seeing you, her smile widened. She looked like a kid who was given too much sugar.

"They're outside! I'm really exited!" The doctor smiled, shuffling towards the door in a hurried manner "I've missed my fam"

Missy rolled her eyed at her actions while you lightly smiled. It always stunted you how the doctor could act like a mother and such a child at the same time.

She opened the doors widely and gasped, smiling widely "hi fam! Gang? Fam! Fang...oh wait...that doesn't work. Never mind. Hi guys!" She said excitedly "and Sonya! Yaz's sister! Nice to see ya again!"

You walked towards the doors, with Missy, the pair of you standing just inside the TARDIS behind the doctor.

"Hi doctor" Sonya smiled.

You looked around and saw that Ryan was only just coming. He seemed to have ran here because he was all out of breath.

He waved slightly at you all before catching glimpse of Sonya. He quickly straightened up, clearing his throat and slowing his breathing.

"Hi Sonya...nice to see ya" he smiled, staring at her.

"Yeah you too" she replied, smiling and staring just as much.

You watched them both just stare for a moment and you wondered if you were missing something. Yaz cleared her throat looking slightly annoyed at Ryan as she elbowed him.

"That's my sister idiot" she whispered.

"Yeah...and I want her number. So, Sonya, do you wanna exchange digits?" He asked straightforwardly.

"Ryan!" Yaz screeched, folding her arm.

"It's fine. You refuse to give me his number. I can do it in person now" Sonya smiled, taking out her phone.

"Oh my god" Yaz muttered, before stepping closer to the TARDIS and engulfing the doctor in a big hug "I've missed you"

"I've missed you too babe" the doctor smiled, holding Yaz tightly, remembering exactly what it felt like to hold her; it felt like too long since she'd just cuddled with her.

"There, got it?" Sonya spoke.

"Yeah" Ryan smiled.

"Okay then. I've got to get going." Sonya said, before she left "oh, Yaz" she called "you know you can come talk whenever you need to. We haven't always seen eye to eye, but you're my sister. And I love you." She said.

Yaz smiled "yeah. I love you too"

Sonya smiled before scrunching her face up again "this feels so wrong. We've never been so nice to each other"

Yaz laughed lightly "yeah well you better take it while it's there"

Sonya rolled her eyes, before waving bye and a final glance at Ryan with a phone shape being lifted up to her ear with her fingers at him. You were going to tease the hell out of Ryan and Yaz with this.