13th Doctor x reader (3rd book)

Argument

You hadn't said anything after your long ass speech. You had no idea where you'd gotten those words or where they came from. It all just sort of happened. And you meant every word.

"(Y/n)...how much exactly did you see?" The doctor asked slowly, breaking the silence.

You continued to look forward before replying with a quiet "too much"

The doctor sighed "You know...even if you've had a rough past, right now, you've got some amazing friends. You're safe on the TARDIS and your safe at home now. You don't have to worry about your father anymore..."

"Oh, so my father dying is a good thing now?" You snapped, feeling your anger start to spike.

"No...that's not what I meant.." the doctor stuttered slightly.

You sighed, hugging yourself tightly as you got into a ball. You buried your face in your knees, taking shuddering breaths.

"I'm just so confused..." you whimpered "I don't..I just don't understand h..how I..." you struggled to find the words as you squeezed your eyes shut, only to flinch when you saw another image of your past, you looked back up at the fire "I don't understand how I managed to spend every Christmas with him." You said "after everything he did...I don't..I don't know how I managed to be within the same city as him let alone the same room every year...I even argued with my mum about letting me go see him in prison...I don't know how I did that or why. H..he was a bad person...I know that. I..I can't stop the memories in my head...." your voice wobbled a lot as you spoke, every word seemingly tightening your chest further.

The doctor sighed "he changed (y/n). People change" she told you before looking around at everyone "this is what they wanted to do to us. To concentrate on all the bad things that have happened in life and forget about all the good. We all need to remember that there are good times in our lives too. Think about all the happy memories. All the times we've laughed and smiled. Look at us all now. We've all got each other. We're all a big family. And we've been through thick and thin. Just remember all the times we've smiled"

"You always seemed to have a smile on your face doc" Graham chuckled lightly.

"You has our backs" Ryan smiled lightly.

"And you were always there for me" Yaz smiled, kissing the doctors cheek.

You remained quiet for a while, listening to them all converse about all the good. You were as quiet as Missy was. And maybe the others were starting to lighten up but you were only getting more angry. You started to see all the bad that the doctor and the others all did to you. Your muscles were tensing up. You clenched your teeth and could feel the anger crossing through you.

"Oh please!" You shouted, causing everyone to stop talking and laughing "you guys! As if you're not worse than anyone else in my life!"

"(Y/n)..." the doctor looked at you with hurt and shock.

You scoffed, finally standing up and urning around to face them all with an angered face.

"You're all just as bad as anyone else! You've caused me pain and hurt just as much as the others! You left for nine years of hell! You have no idea what's going on at home! What I'm going through! The endless nights I waited for you to come back for me!" You yelled.

"T..that was a mistake...I didn't-" you cut the doctor off angrily.

"It damn well was a mistake! And don't get me started on when I was accused for murder! MURDER! None of you guys believed me! You all thought that I killed someone! You seriously thought I was capable of murder!" You shouted.

"Can we not talk about murder!" Missy yelled angrily "anything but killing people please!"

"Oh and it talks!" You shouted "or are you still refusing to talk to me! You're running away from...I don't even know what! Because you DONT TALK!" You screamed off of the top of your lungs angrily.

"You need to stay away from me!" Missy yelled back "it's for your own good"

You scoffed "and what the fuck does that mean?" You asked, trying not to shout.

Missy looked away, her jaw clenched angrily. You rolled your eyed at her.

"I'm sorry..." the doctor said quietly, looking down "that's one of the memories I saw okay. And the guilt of not believing you hurts to this day. And...I swear..I didn't mean to pick you up late..."

You sighed, crossing your arms as you lent against a bookshelf, refusing to look at them. You heard Yaz sigh.

"My sister keeps texting and calling me" she murmured.

"Lucky for some" you muttered "I wish mine did. Except she's kind of six feet under right now so it's a little impossible. She never returns my calls.." You looked down, feeling your heart tighten.

Yaz swallowed before speaking "I wanna go home" she said quietly.

The doctor looked at her, slightly hurt and slightly worried.

"Just for a bit. I really need some time off.." she said quietly.

The doctor sighed "are you sure?" She asked "what about the argument you had with them?"

Yaz sighed "my sister seems fine with who I am" she mumbled "and...I kind of just want to see them again. Make things right. Talk to them. Instead of just running away all the time"

You noticed Missy take a glance at you when she said that before looking away again. You furrowed your brows in confusion, deciding not to question it. There was so much crap going on with her right now and you honestly had no idea what she was on about. She was confusing you and you didn't have the energy for it.

"I think I wanna go home too. Maybe catch up with my dad" Ryan spoke up.

"I think I'm gonna take a few days too doc" Graham added.

The doctor seemed to hesitate for a few moments before sighing sadly and nodding her head.

"Okay" the doctor said softly "(y/n)...do you want to go home too?" She asked.

You felt the fear spike in you as an image of Jason flashed your eyes.

"NO!" You screamed, before looking at them, "no"

You weren't sure whether you screamed because of the image or because of the question. But that was one thing you were sure you didn't want. To go home. You shook your head, trying not to let the panic rise. You ignored the doctors look of concern and just started to make your way back to your room. It was a mistake to even talk about this.