The Odd Doctor Out | A Drama | S. 1

166 🩺 Broken Hearted

Sitting at the breakfast table, Wooyoung didn't touch his oats. All he could think about was yesterday, and how last night Yeosang had come home super late and gone straight to his bedroom, locking the door again, not to be opened again.

But although his tears had dried up, Wooyoung still felt like crying. Hongjoong was acting in a way he'd never seen before, and his brother wanted nothing to do with him. It was his worst nightmare come true. He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep, and wouldn't until he somehow put things back to the way they were before...

Just then, the sound of a door cracking open distracted him from his thoughts. Wooyoung immediately looked up, and despite his eyes having previously dried up, suddenly, they were prickling again.

As Yeosang walked down the hall and into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, Wooyoung got up and tried to make his way over to him.

'Hyung,' he said softly, trying to take his arm in his hands.

But Yeosang just stepped aside, not even letting them touch.

'Hyung-ah, pleas-'

'Wooyoung stop it. You're an adult now. You made your own adult decisions and now you need to live with the consequences.'

Wooyoung felt his chest throb at his cold words, eyes prickling and glazing over with tears.

'Sangie, can't we just-'

'No, stop, Wooyoung. I can't look at you right now.'

Wooyoung felt like he's just copped a punch to the stomach. Mouth closing around soundless words, Wooyoung watched helplessly as his brother walked around him.

'H-Hyu-'

'Stop crying, eat your breakfast and rest.'

And with that, Yeosang walked straight back down to his room, the sound of his door shutting and the lock clicking over reverberating down the hall.

Wooyoung couldn't hold it in any longer.

Bursting into tears, Wooyoung let his arms hang by his sides and his head hang low, defeated and devastated in all aspects of his emotions.

'He hates me,' Wooyoung whispered, feeling his whole soul tear apart. Looking up, he saw Hongjoong standing at the kitchen counter. 'Is he never going to talk to me again?'

Sighing, Hongjoong walked over and took his shoulders in his hands, trying to get him to sit down. 'He's just extremely disappointed, Wooyoung. How would you feel if he was the one who did this?'

Wooyoung didn't even want to think about it.

'b-b -but, I was only trying to help...'

Hongjoong gave him a small smile that crushed Wooyoung's heart. It was an expression that was full of regret and disappointment and something that Wooyoung was sure was him looking at him like there was something wrong with the way he thought about things.

'Hyung you don't get it. No one gets it. Yeosang always says that I should look at it from his point of view, but no one ever thinks to look at it from my point of view. Everyone in my life has left me... my mom, my dad, even my grandparents. All, because, of me. I only have four people in my life that make up my entire world. You and Yeosang, and Yeosang's parents are the only people in my life that make living worth it. I killed my parents, and my grandparents. Me. I was too selfish to wait one more night, and because of that, they all died.'

'Wooyoun-'

'No. Don't tell me that it's not my fault, because it is. I killed the people I loved the most in my life, and somehow, I was given a second chance at life. At first I thought it wasn't fair - I still don't think it is. I thought I was being punished for it... being forced to see what I could have had... the way my parents could have stayed alive and watched movies and had dinners together... But then I realised even if I was being punished, I could still try and make up for what I did. I could try realllly hard to make them happy........

.... the way my family could have been...'

Wooyoung let his tears fall from his eyelashes to the table as he hung his head low, giving up. No one ever understood him. He didn't know why he was trying so hard...

'Wooyoung-ah.' Hongjoong's solemn voice tore him from his thoughts, causing him to glance up.

Pulling his sleeves over his hands, Hongjoong wiped away Wooyoung's tears, before taking his head in his hands - fresh tears replacing the old ones.

'Wooyoung, I won't tell you you're not to blame. I've told you enough in our lives for you to know that's how I feel, and will always feel. But I will say this. Whether or not you believe you were being gifted or punished or both, don't you think after a lifetime of you giving that family everything you have to your name, they haven't come to love you as their own? And don't you think that they would hurt, if they found out that you were letting people treat you like this?'

Wooyoung couldn't answer. Because thinking about it, it made maybe just a little bit of sense inside his head. But that still didn't change anything...

'Do you believe Yeosang loves you?'

Wooyoung choked at his name, shaking his head.

'Before, Wooyoung. Did you think he loved you?'

Wooyoung sniffed. 'I- I hoped so...'

Hongjoong sighed sadly, a sound that devastated his already broken heart.

'How depressing.' He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, becoming fed up. 'Wooyoung, he loves you as much as you love him! I-... Wooyoung, do you think I love you?'

Wooyoung's bottom lip trembled. 'I-I....'

'Hope so?!' Hongjoong swallowed back a sour huff that made Wooyoung wince.

'Y-you said n-no lies...' Wooyoung said softly... he thought it would make it better... but judging from Hongjoong's face, it had only made it worse.

'Wooyoung have you already forgotten I have no father and my mother wishes I was never born?' Hongjoong took him by the shoulders and shook him. 'Wooyoung, you and Sang were my first and only family. I thought you of all people would understand that!'

'I do!!!' Wooyoung countered, meaning it with all of his heart.

'Then why can't you believe that I would love you? You clearly love us, and we aren't blood relations. I don't understand why you can't see us feeling the same for you!' He stared at Wooyoung for a long few moments, before understanding started to show on his face. 'Because you don't think you're worthy of love. Is that it?'

Wooyoung but his lip. No lies. He nodded, ever so slightly, and he literally heard Hongjoong's heart break.

'Wooyoung you are so broken... I literally don't know how to help you...' brushing his cheek, Hongjoong looked at him through the most devastated eyes.

'Hyung,' Wooyoung choked out, reaching up to put his hands over each of his cheeks. 'I don't care if I don't deserve it... I'm selfish... I want Sangie to talk to me again, and I want him to love me and I want you to love me and I really want you to look at me with your normal eyes... not these eyes...'

Hongjoong sighed, closing his eyelids for a moment. 'Time, Woo. Give us time. We're heartbroken.'

'I'm sorry...' Wooyoung whispered, unable to see the pain and sadness on that face any more.

'I know you are Hun. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.'

~~~