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Samantha could hear the breeze, gently brushing against the window. The only thing consoling her was the soft music playing in the background, it was from the gift she had received from James back in school in her birthday.
The was folding her clothes by hand, organizing them in a bag as Harry was taking a few things from his room. She had been spending most of the time in Sirius' house when she was not at work. The only reason she entered her house lately was to grab clothes and check on the security.
Laid upon her bed a few meters away, stood her journal. The one she had been carrying around since her third year. There were a few pages left, full of writing and feelings that she relayed her heart on. She stayed at it, reminiscing about all those years she sat in front of the window, looking up at the stars as she poured her heart out.
For months, she was debating what to do with it. Throw it away? Burn it? Hide it? Show it to Sirius?
Every time she thought she had her answer, she overthinked it and ended up in the same place. In the end, she didn't want to get rid of it.
She walked towards the journal, leaving the clothes. Her fingertips touched the cover, feeling nolsstalgic. She smiled softly, and just as she was about to take in and put it in her bag, she heard footsteps, and panicked.
Quickly, she took the journal and hid it under the pillow. At that moment, Harry entered the room with a bag.
❝hey, I finished, do you need help?❞ he asked, setting down the bag and walked towards her small sofa, sitting down.
❝I'm almost finish, thanks, Har❞ she smiled, walking back to her previous spot.
Harry nodded, resting his head against the comfortable pillow. Without realizing, he began to rub his scar. She didn't have to turn to him to know what he was doing.
❝are you okay?❞ she asked, stopping what she was doing to give him her full attention.
Harry nodded ❝just thinking❞
❝you want to talk about it?❞ she smiled softly, and he sighed ❝I know something's bothering you❞
❝what if Voldemort is really seeing through my eyes?❞ he blurted out, causing her to freeze ❝if so, then I'm a danger for everyone❞
❝have you felt anything besides the anger?❞ she walked towards him, sitting down besides him in the small sofa.
❝I feel...something inside me, but it's more like a whisper, as if it's crawling around me, and I still feel so much anger❞
❝I can't say that I know what you're going through, because I don't❞ she frowned, speaking softly to calm him down ❝only you know how it feels, and I'm so sorry you're going through this❞
❝do you think I'm going to be like him?❞ he looked down, and she sighed, shaking her head.
❝you're not like him❞ she said firmly, taking his hand and squeezing it, she took a breath ❝Voldemort and you are not the same, and you will never be the same❞
❝how did you know? Everyone treats me like I'm about to snap, like I'm a danger❞ he frowned, shaking his head as she pursued her lips.
❝how do I know?❞ she tilted her head, taking his head to make up look up ❝because you have something he doesn't❞ he looked at her, furrowing his eyebrows ❝family, and love❞ she smiled gently, dropping her hand ❝he can try all he wants, but in the end, you're stronger, and I don't mean in the sense of having an army or followers, but in here❞ she pointed at his head, then down in his chest, in his heart ❝and here❞
Harry looked down, analyzing what she was saying, then he remember what she had said, and looked up again at her ❝you said his name❞
Samantha exhaled, nodding slowly ❝we can't all be afraid of him forever, and although I don't have all the right to say his name like you do, I'm done being afraid❞
Harry smiled softly, nodding ❝you do have the right, he took away your best friends❞
Samantha pursed her lips, looking away from her spot next to the window ❝he took away a part of everyone❞
Samantha sighed, feeling how all eyes were on her. She tried to ignore them, like always, but there was always something preying in her mind that kept reminding her that she was being watched, judged.
She held her purse tighter, trying not to show any sign of weakness. Her heart was beating fast. She was glad that the pounding was loud, it was enough to echo in her mind and use as a distraction.
Then, she was not alone anymore. She was glad that he had come in that moment, because the silence that had been laid the moment she entered the store was suffocating her.
❝you okay?❞ Remus asked, beginning to walk inside the store. He was aware of the eyes around them, and he as well tried his best to ignore them.
Samantha locked her arm with his, keeping her gaze ahead ❝yeah❞ she mumbled, nodding lightly.
The two made their way deeper, taking the things they needed. People avoided them like a plague, and even though there was no good enough reason to, they still acted the same childish way. She understood that fear was a factor in their behavior, but it didn't take out how they felt due to their actions.
They feared the messengers, yet the sender was the one they should be terrified of.
Remus glanced around, just like the rest of the people did. Everyone was quiet, the aura was tense, cutting smoothly through the air around them. They were all worried, even if they didn't realized because they were still living a lie, people were disappearing. Not at an alarming rate, but enough to catch the attention of the Order.
And to add to their problems, prisoners from Azkaban had escaped. Everyone was on edge, looking over their shoulder.
Like all those years ago, she didn't went to places alone anymore. They all stuck together, they had a better chance at surviving with someone by their side.
A man passed them, pushing her shoulder a little too much. Remus caught the moment and went forward towards the man, but she managed to hold him down.
❝Rem, it's okay, let's go❞ she whispered, having a hand on his chest while she tried to make him walk away.
❝do you have a problem?❞ the man asked, turning to see Remus with an eyebrow raised.
❝no problem with me, but you, on the other hand❞ Remus narrowed his eyes at the man.
Just as the latter was about to go forward, another woman entered their view, looking between all of them. She was quietly took the man's arm and tried to dragged him out of the situation, just like she was doing. The two women locked eyes, and nodded lightly.
❝hey❞ she whispered, trying to catch his attention. Remus looked down and she tried to give him a smile ❝it's alright, let's just finish and go home, yeah?❞
Remus nodded, and the two began to walk in the aisles to finish their grocery shopping. She was tense, all she wanted to do was to get the people to stop staring, but thinking about it only made more overwhelmed.
They both went to the registry and payed for everything as fast as they could, grabbing the bag and exiting the place.
Quickly, they apparated to headquarters, only to find people leaving a meeting. Remus just looked at them for a brief moment before entering to leave the bags somewhere else. Sam stood there, watching as the members passed by, nodding at her.
She stayed still, wondering what she did to make them thing she couldn't be trusted. It wasn't only because of Harry, there was something else, but she couldn't quite figure out why.
She watched as they left the home, leaving her alone by herself. There were still people in the house, most likely the Weasleys. But she stayed in her place, feeling the weight of the bags in her hands along with the heavy load in her shoulders that kept accumulating each day.
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