Purple Roses ° Sirius Black ✓

79 | only human

✿ ✿ ✿

𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓢𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓾𝓼,

I have been thinking deeply
about some things lately.

They are little things.
Things that we take for granted.
Things that I have taken for granted.

Do you love yourself?

And I don't mean if you think
you're handsome or something.
I mean, do you think you're worthy?

I have come to the realization
that I didn't really loved myself.

Sure, sometimes I think I'm pretty,
nice and smart, but doubt
always comes to crush it all down.

I have been having more time by
myself, and that means having
to think and talk to myself.

I realized that doubt and fear
brings me down, like anyone else.
But I don't want that.

I hate to think I'm not worthy.
I hate to think I'm not pretty.
I hate to think I'm not smart.
I hate to think I'm not good enough.

I hate to feel this fear of doubt
in myself. I want it to be over.

I know I have flaws,
and I'm not the best one in everything,
but that doesn't mean I have
to bring myself down.

I made a pact with myself,
you see.

I promised myself that I will smile more. That I will love me more.
That I will appreciate more.
That I will be gentler with myself.

You want to know the
best thing about it?

I'm doing this for myself.

Not for my family.
Not for my friends.
And I'm sorry, love, but it's not
for you either.

I'm doing this for myself
because I deserve it.
I deserve to feel comfortable and
happy with myself, don't you think?

I'm only human.
I know will make mistakes and get down,  but what will all of that mean if I
don't bring myself up at the end?

I hope I'm not boring you,
but for the first time in a long time,
I'm thinking putting myself first.

I hope you see the difference.
Because if past Samantha was happy,
this future Samantha will be delightful.

This is for the best.
I know it is.

Goodbye Sirius, I'll see you soon.

𝓢𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂,

𝓢𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓪