Purple Roses ° Sirius Black ✓

44 | broken hearts club

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𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓢𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓾𝓼,

Today was the day.
I had gathered all the courage
I could and I was ready.

I was finally going to ask
you to go to hogsmeade with me
for Valentine's Day.

I even got you a flower,
guess what color it was.

I was up in my room, pacing back
and forth, still debating if I
should go down or not. I was going
to ask you to walk with me,
then I was going to ask you.
That was my plan.

Then I realized,
it was now or never.

I took a deep breath one last time
and opened the door.
I was shaking, can you believe that?

I made my way down slowly
and when I finally reached the end,
I was about run and hide under my covers, but I didn't let myself back down.

I walked around, looking for you,
but I didn't see you, at first.
When I did, I walked fast towards you, not noticing anyone else.

You were my objective, and it felt like the world was fading away,
the only think in colour was you.
And darling, you were so bright.

But I had to stop abruptly when
I saw blonde hair mixed with yours.
I was so nervous and so focused
on my plan that I didn't see the girl next to you, leaning over to kiss you.

I opened my mouth in surprise,
and a strange feeling began bubbling inside me. It increased each second,
and even more once I saw the girl's hands all over you.

I knew it was time to get out
of there when tears were
blurring my vision.

I blinked quickly and looked down.
I walked again, praying that nobody
saw me, even though everyone was focused on their conversations.

I swallowed the lump in my
throat and went outside the painting,
not looking anywhere else but the floor.

I was about to fall over someone
but they managed to stop.
When I looked up, James' smile
was there, but it dropped the second
he saw me in the eyes.

❝Samantha, what's wrong?❞
he asked, but I just shook my head, giving him a small smile and
walked away quickly.

I heard him call my name but
I didn't turn around. I
just wanted to be alone, fast.

The day was so cloudy,
and everything felt gray. The wind was cold, but I didn't shiver,
I was to busy replaying the scene in my head.

I sat down in front of the lake
and held my knees up, embracing myself. I was just cleaning away
the tears, looking at the peaceful water.

I took out the flower I had in my coat, holding it in my hand for a couple of seconds, then I squeezed it.
I didn't saw any use for it anymore.

I don't know how long I stood there.
Nor when someone approached and sat beside me.

I didn't look, because I knew my
eyes and nose were red.
It was pathetic.

It wasn't until I heard a heavy
sigh and someone putting a hand in my shoulder that I looked.

He didn't had the same cheerful
smile like he always had, instead,
he gave me a small one, squeezing my shoulder for support.

Maybe it was the moment,
or maybe because I didn't expect this kind of support from him,
but I started crying.

I just looked down while my tears
were falling down, but James didn't made fun of me or try to stop me from crying, instead, he pull me into a hug.

We stood there the whole afternoon,
me crying in his shoulder and
he patting my back.

From time to time I think about him
and Lily, and how in love he is.
And I hope, with all my heart, that
she gives him an opportunity to show her how much love he has to give.

I don't want him to end up like me, because at the moment,
we're both waiting for something to happen.

But there's a difference.
He has a chance, and I don't.

I hope with all my heart that he
doesn't stay where I am.
I really hope so.

But I'll be okay,
don't worry about me.

Goodbye Sirius.

𝓢𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂,

𝓢𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓪