Thirty
Day
I was in control of the body and yet I wasn’t the one controlling it. I could see and I could hear and I could feel but I was the passenger. I could feel the hardwood floor of my room under my feet. I could feel the sweet running down my forehead. I could feel my hair sticking to the back of my neck. The heart was still. I thought that it would have raced but it didn’t. All was still. I could feel the weight of something in my hand. Some kind of weapon was in my hand. I could see the door tightly shut. We were pacing the floor.
I thought that I would taste the iron in my mouth but I didn’t in fact my mouth was too sweet. As if I had a sugar cube in my mouth. It was sickening how sweat everything tasted. It was sicken how I had no control over what I was doing. I didn’t even want this. I didn’t want to control the body. I wanted nothing to do with this body. So why was I here? How had I gotten here? What the fuck was I supposed to do now?
I tried to remember what happened. I tried to remember what was going on. I remember Kennedy killing herself. I remember Nian freaking out. I remember being inside of the mind. Being in front of the black door. I remember the door opening. I remember telling Nian to run. I remember running like hell. Then I was here. I had vowed never to enter the body again and yet here I stood controlling the body. I licked my lips because I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea who was with me. I had no idea what they were planning.
I looked down at the floor again and saw the still body of my sister lying there. No one had come when they heard the shot. No one cared that someone had been shot in this house. Maybe they all were just happy that it wasn’t them that were killed. Maybe they thought it was safer not to come. That if I had at last lost it and went on a spree they would have a fighting chance if they stayed in there room.
Nothing was making since right now. What happened to the door? Why was I in the body? What the fuck was going on for crying out loud. I walked over to my sister and kneel down. I picked up the gun that was beside her and now I had a weapon in both of my hands. A gun in one hand a machete in the other. I had thought that father took that from Nian but somehow here it was again. Replaced by the stolen one or maybe just taken back when the old fool wasn’t looking. I wanted to tell whoever it was to just stop. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to beg to be released. Whatever Ian was in control didn’t need me. They didn’t need me to be here with them.
“Release me.” I whispered and closed my eyes.
When I opened it again I was on the left side of the brain. But there was something wrong. There was something so wrong with this side. It was dark and it was broken and it was decaying just like the right side. This wasn’t Nian’s side of the brain. I didn’t feel happy of here. I didn’t feel safe.
“Dian.” A voice said and I turned around to see another standing down the hall from me. He had a fox mask on his face and he was standing there head titled to the side looking down the hall at me. He wasn’t the Ian that was just controlling the body. But he was an Ian to fear all the same.
“You don’t belong on this side.” I told him and he clenched his fist. He took a step forward and I took a step back. “You need to leave now.” I hissed at him and he took another step towards me. “I will not fear you.” I told him and he stopped walking for a moment.
“Fear me?” he mused over the words as if they were words he never heard before. As if they were words he never knew.
“I’m sick of fear. So come on you freak. You want me. Here I am!” I yelled and stood my ground. I held my ground ready to protect myself. Ready to fight him off if I needed to. I had entered the darkest of all places in this hell we call a mind. I had been broken. And here I stand. I had nothing to fear now. “If you’re going to kill me then come on. I will die on my feet.” I told him and he laughed as he started walking towards me again.
“As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death….” He started and my mind was racing and my heart was racing. I spoke a good game but I was scared still. I was fearful. I didn’t want to die. I don’t think anything ever wants to die. “This is why you lose.” Someone was behind me and whispered though words in my head and laughed. I felt something heavy and hard hit me in the head and I went down.
Everything was blurry as I was being pulled. I turned my head to the side and I could see someone’s feet beside me. I could feel myself being dragged by my feet. Then they stopped and I was pulled to my feet. My eyes focused as I looked at the one holding on to me. My eyes widen at the sight of him. When at last I knew what Ian he had been.
“You….but why?” I hissed as he pushed me in a room.
“Because.” He laughed and shut the door. I slammed against it trying to get out. Trying to open it but I couldn’t I was locked inside. I had been locked away in one of the rooms inside of the mind. I turned to see that there was nothing in this room just darkness waiting for me.
“Let me out!” I yelled. “LET ME OUT!” I slammed against the door as I banned on it as I begged to be free but all I heard was his laughter echoing down the hall and in my mind.
Evil
My eyes opened and I was in our bed room. I was in control of the body but at the same time someone else was as well. I frowned because it wasn’t like how I feel when I share the body. Or should I say it isn’t like how it was when I try and take the body. Or when Nian tries to take the body. We were sharing it. I had my own thoughts. My own will. But at the same time it was his will that was controlling everything. I had no say over what we were doing.
I looked down at Kennedy and frowned because she was still there. Her blood had pooled out to the floor. It was on my feet. I could feel her blood coat the bottom of my feet. I had thought that we were wearing shoes. I was sure that we were. After all Nian had planned to run away. That was why we came back to the house. So that we could leave. So that we could run away. But here we stood.
I looked at the two weapons in our hand. It was a weird choice. The machete sure it was one of Nian favorite toys. But the gun wasn’t really our style. I couldn’t think of one Ian that used a gun. I couldn’t think of what happened. How had I come here? Why was I the one in control of the body right now?
What did I remember? I remember Dian telling us to run. I remember the black door opening. I remember everything going black. Nian pushed me to go faster. His own mind was shattered having saw Kennedy kill herself but he told me and Dian to hurry. He told us that he would hold it off. I remember protesting. He cuss at me and told me to hurry. I helped Dian. We left Nian behind though.
I licked my lips not at all liking how sweet the mouth tasted. Not liking at all what it meant when we tasted something weird. Where were the others? Kennedy had shot herself. There was noise. There was the sound of the gun going off. So where were the others? I knew they were home. Of course they were home. Hiding from me? Hiding in their rooms hoping that I had had my fill for the night.
But I felt a hunger in me that I haven’t felt for six years now. I felt a peace so calming fall over me that it unnerved me. I walked over to the door opening it up and to go out in the hall. Not this shit again. I didn’t want any part of this slaughter. I wanted to tell whoever else that was here with me. I wanted to tell them to count me out. Fuck this. I didn’t want to be there for it. I wanted to tell them that I wanted nothing to do with this. I wasn’t going to go through that again. There was no way in hell that I was getting blamed again. There was no way in hell that I was taking the blame for the actions of others yet again. So that Nian could act again. So that Nian could come for me and lock me away again. Lock me behind the red door again.
“Fuck you.” I hissed. “Let me out of this body now. This is where I get off.”
I frowned when I was in the mind again. What was going on? I knew that I was on the left side of the brain but it was darkness here just like on the right side of the brain. There was dirt and decay as if I wasn’t on the left side. I looked around when I heard giggling. It was the giggles of a child and I turned around getting my baring and seeing Ducky standing there holding his bunny in his hand.
“Evian.” He called my name and I frowned when he stomped his foot as if he was annoyed with me. I hated kids. And Baby-Ian was no exception to that rule. He was standing there looking at me and then he smiled.
“What are you smiling at?” I hissed at him.
“You’re just a big dummy head.” He said and I frowned.
“That doesn’t even make sense.” I said and he flipped me the bird and took off running down the hall. I took off after him. There was no way that I was going to let this little brat show me that level of disrespect. There was no way in hell that I was letting him get away with that. “When I catch you I’m going to kill him.” I yelled as I chased behind him. He was fast for a kid and he was running down this hall and that one. I wasn’t sure where he was going but by now I was sure that he was leading me somewhere.
I couldn’t trust Ducky. That I knew. I would never trust a child that was like him. But at the same time I was smarter than him. I was older and bigger than him what was he going to do to me. I came to a hall and there was one door that was opened. I didn’t see Ducky anywhere and I looked at the door. I could see white light pouring out of it. I wanted to beat Ducky face in. But at the same time I didn’t trust that room.
I walked closer to it trying to look inside without going inside. I walked over as slowly and carefully as I could. It was so white in there. So bright that Ducky could have been standing in front of me and I wouldn’t have seen him. I sucked it up and went in the room. There was nothing in here. Only white walls and the brightest light that you could find. In the center of the floor was the bunny as well. I frowned when I saw the bunny but no Ducky to go with it. I looked back at the door but it was still opened so I walked over to the bunny.
As I bent down to pick it up I heard Ducky laughter and then I heard the wails of a door being focused shut.
“Night Evian.” Ducky said and I rushed over and slammed into the door just as it was closed in my face. I was locked inside. Not again. I was locked away again. In this room. Locked in the purest of whites in the brightest of lights. I would go mad long before I was released from this hell.
“FUCK!” I yelled as I pulled and punched and kicked the door but it didn’t more. Not even an inch.
Night
Something wasn’t right with me. Something wasn’t right period. For one I was in control of the body again. For another I wasn’t alone as I controlled it. What one was it controlling with me? I had thought it to be King but I could tell when it was him. I could tell when he was with me. We never fought for the control of the body with each other. I had my turn and he had his. We shared. But at this moment I wasn’t sure if we were sharing or if I was just hearing, seeing, feeling through them. I knew that this taste was his. I knew that this overly sweet taste that was in my mouth was one that didn’t belong to me.
Had it been iron I might had thought that this was my doing. I might would have believed that I was the one that was to blame for this. But there was another here. He was so still and yet he controlled our actions. Our actions. I was in the hallway right now. I was pacing the floor of the hall way. All of the doors were shut. All of the doors were lock.
As I paced I left bloody footsteps in my wake. Looking at the floor I could trace my path. Somehow I or rather he managed to step in the same spot again and again. It made the blood stain even deeper on the hardwood floor but at the same time clean up would be a snap. Clean up. I repeated that in my head as I remembered the mess that was waiting for me in my room. Kennedy killed herself in front of me and it triggered something inside of me.
It reawakened something so deep and something so strong that it broke the chains off the black door. It opened the black door. I didn’t know what I thought was going to come out of it. There was so much darkness that over flowed out of the black door. Dian told me to run but what did I look like running. I told him and Evian to go. To get the hell out of there. To get back to the left side of the brain. I didn’t know if they were safe or not yet.
I could feel the darkness inside of me but I knew that I would. The red door was open after all. And now the black door. What were you thinking Ian? When he made those two dark doors I wondered what it was that he was thinking. Maybe that we could protect them. Maybe that we were strong enough to keep them close. Maybe he thought that we would never be foolish enough to open them. I didn’t know what Ian was thinking.
I didn’t know what I was thinking either. What my co-host was thinking as he paced the floor with my toy in his hand. With my machete. It was mines and yet he held it as if he owned it. I should have ran when I had the chance. I knew that someone was going to get hurt because of me. I knew that this day was going to come again. When I slaughtered again. When no one was safe from me yet again. I paused in my pacing and looked at one of the doors. Smiling his smile I found my target. I sighed because I didn’t want to kill.
“May god save us all.” I whispered to myself as I closed my eyes again
I was in the mind again. Not only in the mind but in the red room. I was standing in the darkness of the red room because it was all knowing and it was the closest thing that I had to god. I frowned when I felt someone else in the room with me and I turned around to see one of the right side Ian’s. I haven’t seen him in years and I smiled at him.
He stood there looking at me his straightjacket on but the arms not pinned back. His face mask on so that he doesn’t bit anyone. He was standing there looking at me breathing hard. I could hear him breathing even though we were so far away from each other. It was the first time that the whispers in the room were quite. This was the first time that the red room had nothing to say to me.
“Nian.” He whispered out my name.
“What business do you have with me?” I asked and he took a step towards me. I had my toy in my hand. Two machetes were in hand and waiting to cut him into tiny little pieces if he dared got closer to me.
“Now why would you want to do that?” Another voice said and I turned to see the Ian that wore the fox mask. He was to the right of me while the one with the straightjacket in front of me. I frowned because they both were from the right side of the brain. Neither one of them belonged in here. They didn’t belong in the red room. In my red room.
“Those are dangerous you might cut yourself.” Another voice said and I turned to the let of me to see Ducky over there. I smiled and then I laughed out. Leaning my head back as I let out a mad laughter. What was this? What did they think they were doing? What did they think they were going to do?
“Come on the boys.” I said pulling myself together. “I remember six years ago do you.” I mocked them and the Ian in the straightjacket growled at me. Ah so he remembered as well. “I put you all away once. I will do it again.” I told them and Fox face Ian laughed.
“You didn’t put us anywhere.” He said and I rolled my eyes as I looked over at him. “We ran on our own free will.” He said and they each took a step towards me. There were the odds that I wasn’t going to kill all three of them. But I was going to hurt at least one of them. I was going to destroy at least one of them.
“Why must we do it the hard way all the time Nian?” Ducky said and I snorted at him because there was no way that I was going to listen to what some dumb kid had to say. Beside where was the fun if you didn’t do things the hard way. Where was the joy if you couldn’t feel pain as well?
“I have nothing left to lose.” I said and someone was behind me and I felt something long and sharp stab in my neck. And I felt the injection and the drug and nothing at all. Just darkness. Just still and utter darkness.
Dark
Dark-Ian looked at the door to the room that was picked. Nian was gone no longer to be felt sharing the body as Dark-Ian walked to the door and opened it. The door was unlocked and Dark-Ian thought them all fools for not locking their doors. Didn’t they know anything? Couldn’t they do anything right. Dark-Ian looked down seeing the machete that had been picked for this job. The machete that would be used to do what?
To kill the person in this room. To slaughter the one that was so peaceful as they rested in the bed. Dark-Ian wondered why the sound of the gun didn’t wait them. Why they were all so sound asleep not even fired shot woke them. But then again Dark-Ian wasn’t complaining. Everything was prefect this way. Everything was just fine.
The room was dark but Dark-Ian could see the body. Moving slightly under the covers as the body rose and fell. Breathing was a good sigh. It meant no one else has stolen away Dark-Ian’s fun. Walking to the bed Dark-Ian grabbed a fist full of covers and pulled it off. Seamus laid sound asleep in his bed not a care of worry in the world. Dark-Ian chuckle to himself as Dark-Ian pressed the blade to Seamus’s throat. Cousin Seamus woke when he felt the blade and looked in Dark-Ian eyes.
“Any last words?” Dark-Ian spoke.
“Burn in hell.” Seamus said and with a smiled the machete went up and came back down taking off Seamus’s head
Darkness filled both sides of the mind now. Dark-Ian walked past the door that held Dian and he was singing the song our song that all Ian’s love and hate so much. Then walking past Evian’s door and he was kicking and hitting and cuss and acting like a fool as he tried to free himself. Dark-Ian shook his head and laughed as Dark-Ian walked on. Stopping in front of the red door there was no sound inside of the locked door. Shut tightly again Nian didn’t make a sound from his cell.
Going to the right side of the brain all was still as the darkness was thick over here. Walking through the black door near the door was Baby-Ian playing with his bunny and looking up and bowing slightly as Dark-Ian walked past him. Walking deeper in the room Prank-Ian was twisting his fox mask on and off his face. He paused and looked at Dark-Ian bowing slightly to him and then going back to his own doing. Even farther in the black room was Asylum-Ian playing with blades that were at the tip of each of his fingers he looked up at Dark-Ian and gave him a deep bow out of fear and respect.
At last Dark-Ian walked up the steps and took a sit on the throne that was on the top of them. Looking down at his subjects whom were all now looking up at Dark-Ian he gave a laugh and then a smile as twisted as Dark-Ian was. Sitting back on the throne and crossing Dark-Ian’s legs and resting Dark-Ian head on Dark-Ian’s left fist. The others looked at Dark-Ian in awe as they waited for Dark-Ian to speak to them. To reward them even for a job well done.
“It’s good to be King.” Dark-Ian spoke and they all turned and looked towards the door as it slammed shut.