(DAY) 16

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  The wail of sirens was what brought me back to my senses. There was chaos around me. Seamus was swearing and trying to get to me. Billy was holding him back but still letting out a string of swears at me. Lilly was crying, Nakita was crying, Angel was crying and Kennedy was screaming at the top of her lungs. My mother was pacing the floor a glass of wine her shaking hands. Father and Uncle Joe were in the corner muttering something to each other. Aunt May was still lying in bed bleeding. Her face a mess of blood. She was crying silent tears and I wondered if it was because the pain was too much to bear.

            I looked down at my hands but there was no blood on me. I should have been covered in blood. I knew what Evian had done. I knew that he had cut into her face but I was clean. My heart was racing. My mind was racing. The police was on the way here. They were going to see this. They were going to lock me up. They were going to throw me in a padded cell. What was I going to do? What was I going to do? I looked through my mind. I needed Night-Ian. I needed him to deal with this I needed him to take the body and handle this. I needed him to tell me what to do.

            “I need help. Why do I have to have the body right now? Please take over for me. Please.” I begged him but there was no answer. I couldn’t feel him. I couldn’t see him or Evian. Evian. I hated him. He was the reason that we were here now. He was the reason that Aunt May was hurt. I stood up and all eyes turned to me. Then Uncle Joe and father shared a look.

            “I know that it wasn’t his fault.” Uncle Joe said and there was knocking on the door. Seamus pulled away from Billy pointing a threatening finger at me before going upstairs. I was still in the corner. Still and unmoving as the police and the paramedics came. The officers were talking to father and Uncle Joe as the paramedics started to work on Aunt May tending to her and then taking her out.

            “I’m going with her.” Seamus said and Uncle Joe nodded as he Seamus and Lilly followed behind.

            “We’ll follow behind in the car.” Billy told them as they started to follow them.

            “Ian and I will be behind you.” Father said as the others were going upstairs along with the police and leaving the house. I didn’t understand what was going on. I should have been covered in blood but I wasn’t. I should have been getting locked up but I wasn’t. My family should have been selling me out right now but they weren’t. And what were they telling the cops. How was they going to explain this away without telling the officers what it was that I had done. How had they gotten Billy, and Seamus, and Kennedy to agree not to rat me out.

            I heard the door shut and I knew that I was alone in the house with my father. For a moment I thought that this was a faith even worst then a jail cell. Even worst then my little padded room because let’s face it if they told I was heading to a nut house not the big house.

            “Let’s go.” Father said and I followed him out. I knew that it was unlikely that we were going to the hospital with the others. I was sure that I was the last person that any of them wanted to see. But at the same time we couldn’t stay here. This was a crime scene now. I didn’t know what they had told the police but wouldn’t they still look into it. A woman’s face was cut open. Stuff like that don’t happen on a normal day. It wasn’t what happened in normal homes. Not what goes on in normal families. My father got in his car and I silently got in with him.

            The whole ride was spent in awkward silence. I knew that he was mad with me. Not just his silence told me but his knuckles were white on the steering wheel. That scared me even more than his silence. It knew what that meant. I knew because my father was a very predictable man. I knew that we were going to the apartment that they kept for when I did things like this. And I knew that when we got there pain was going to follow.

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