(DAY) 5

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  I heard a scream. I blood curling wail and I bolted up right in my bed. My heart was racing my body and sheets were drenched with sweat. I’ve done something horrible. Correction my night-self has done it. I could hear the footsteps of the others in the house rushing towards the sound of the cry. I got out of bed and went to the mirror looking myself over making sure that I was washed clean of all blood. Not a drop was on me but I could still take it in my mouth. I wasn’t the side that was good with that kind of stuff. My night-self liked blood not me. Not the day-self. I could only hear them muttering. I knew they were coming here. They were coming towards me. If I hide in my room they are only going to blame me. First night here. That’s what my father will say. It’s their first night what have you done. What have I done? I can’t remember. I tried my best trying to look through my night-self eyes. Trying to see in his memories. They were dark and parted. He was so selfish never showing me anything. I never remember images when I view his memories. Only the feeling. The weight of the hammer in my hand. The quickening in my heart. Raising it up. Bring it down. The spray of blood that covered my face. Licking the hammer. Taking the metal of the hammer and the sweetness of the blood. Raising it again, and again, and again. His mind was blank. I couldn’t hear his thoughts. I couldn’t feel myself in the corner that I retreat to in the night.

            He was lost in the bloodlust. He had giving himself away to it. Oh god what have I done. I could feel tears in my eyes and I looked in the mirror again. Tears were freely flowing. I always knew. I always knew no matter what I knew who he hurt and how he hurt them. What if it was someone I loved? I had to see. I rushed over to the door remembering that Uncle Joe told father not to lock it. I knew for a fact that they hadn’t touched the door today. I knew for a fact that I was always the first to wake and the last to sleep. The scream was what woke us all I knew that. My father was the only one with a key. I knew that as well. But it was locked. I tried the knob and it was locked. I was locked in my room.

            “What have you done?!” I yelled out loud but he knew who I was talking to. My night-self knew that he was the only person I could use that tone of voice with. I waited for him to answer. I could feel him in his corner of the mind. His back to me as he played with his toys. “Answer me Night-Ian. Answer me now.” This I hissed into my mind. “Who was it?” my voice cracked in my head as I gave way to tears again. He didn’t reply. My night-self, Night-Ian as I sometimes call him could be a real bastard, a prick, an asshole if when he wanted to be. I slammed myself against the door pulling at it and banning on it trying to get out. It shouldn’t have been locked in the first place. I know that I was out last night. I know that my night-self roamed the halls. I know that I had to come back in this room I was in here after all. And I know that you can only lock the door with a key a key that neither of my selves had. A key that my father only had. That he wouldn’t even gave a copy to my mother to. And last I know that my father didn’t lock the door not at all not last night. So why is it lock? I kicked and pulled and knocked and slammed my shoulder into it again and again. “Let me out!” I yelled as loud as I could. “Let me out! Let me OUT!”

            “Ian!” I heard the angry call of my father as the others were rushing up the stairs now. Someone tried the knob so I backed away from the door.

            “It’s lock dad.” Billy told him and I heard the key in the door and then it opened.

            “You fucking bastard.” Seamus yelled as he rushed in my room attacking me taking me down to the floor and punching me one good time in the face before I could even get a sense of what was going on. I felt my night-self move. Night-Ian pushed against me and I kicked Seamus off of me punching him back and sitting on his chest punching him again.

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