(NIGHT/DARK) 31

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 Thirty-One

Night

       I could feel it taking over. I could feel this darkness pressing down in me. There was madness it the air. There was insanity within me. How could I fight it off this time when there was so much? How could I fight it off when I wasn't even sure I wanted to? I’ve felt like this before, felt the never ending pit of blackness. I didn’t want to be him again. How could I allow myself to sink into that again? I didn’t want to destroy everything that I have worked so hard to rebuild. Six years ago I was weak. I thought that I knew everything but I knew nothing. It was different this time though. I have tried so hard. I have done so much. 

       “What are you going to do Vigil?” The darkness asked me and I sunk back into my throne. That was just it wasn’t it. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure what I should do next because I didn’t know what was next. I was so lost. I’ve never been this lost before. “There is only one thing to do Vigil.” His inky voice was sinking deeper into my brain. It was making itself one with me. I could feel his craws in my mind trying to make it his own. The darkness wasn’t something to be taken lightly. It has been to long since I’ve feed it the blood that is needed to keep him at bay. The sour taste grew stronger with every moment. 

       “What do you want from me?” I asked and I could feel it’s laughter. It was pressing all around me, or maybe it was inside of me. Maybe that was why I couldn’t break free. The darkness had found a way to seep into my skin. To make itself one with my being. If the darkness of the red room was inside of me did that mean that I have become the red room. Was I even still me. How could I know these answers? Where, where could I go to seek them? The sour taste in my mouth was becoming overwhelming. I needed to do something. I needed to find my release from it.

       There was only one way to release the darkness hunger. I knew that better then anyone else. I needed to feed it, how long has it been since I last gave it a meal? No wonder it is taking matters into it’s own hands now. I have been denying it the one thing that it needs most. So much have gone wrong over time. So many errors have been brought to light. If the secrets of the red room was to spill out into the body. I couldn’t allow my room to be the one that poisons the mind.

       I nearly laughed at that; me poison the mind. How could anyone taint us more then what Shiki has already done? Killing us off one by one that’s what poisoning the mind not me, not my door. The red room is here to protect the things the others can not know. It is here to protect what the mind has rejected as truth. This is why even compared to Krad’s room the red room holds the deepest of all darkness. 

       Standing up I walked towards the doors of the red room but they were locked. I turned around to face the darkness and frowned. He couldn’t have it both ways, he couldn’t want me to get him what he needs and at the same time lock me away inside of this darkness. It just doesn’t work that way. 

      “Do you want me to feed you or not.” I hissed into the darkness. As soon as I did the door clicked open and I was allowed to leave. Walking through the hall I could feel the wrongness in the body. I could feel the void where the other Ian’s should have been. Most of all I felt what they left behind. I needed to get to the body. I needed to regain myself. I could feel it falling over me again. The madness of six years ago was coming over me once more. 

      “Vigil.” Jude called me and I turned and looked at him. I didn’t have time for Jude and his endless bitching. What I needed now was to free myself of this jail cell. I needed needed the release that only blood can offer. “Vigil what are we going to do?” I could hear the fear, the worry, the sheer panic in his voice. My eyes moved over to where Jude was and I gave him a slightly twisted smile.

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