(DAY) 3

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Three

Day

I sat at in the living room feeling a bit out of it if I do say so myself. Last night was the longest that my night-self and my day-self has ever spoken to each other. It was the first time that I ever felt like I might have the strength to resist what it was that he was doing. As soon as dawn came I found my journal and wrote down what we spoke of word for word. I had to write it down because it’s hard for me to remember what happens when my night-self is in control of the body. I had to write it down so that when I talk to Dr. Grey again I wouldn’t get anything wrong.

There was one sentence that I was stuck on. He has always protected us. What did I need him for? Why did my day-self need a night-self? Sometimes I wonder if it’s the other way around. Why did my night-self need my day-self? I closed my eyes because I had a splitting headache. I had tried to nap all morning before Aunt May and Uncle Joe came but every time I closed my eyes I saw these jaded images. I don’t know what self it was. Or maybe this was a time before I was parted. Walking through a hall. So dark. So cold. I hear crying. I hear the racing of my heart. My hands are sweaty. My body is hot. I’m burning. A fever maybe. I drag my hand along the way until I see the door. The red door. Don’t go in the red door. I move closer. Don’t go in the red door. It’s creaked opened and all I can see is darkness inside. My mind is screaming at me. My body isn’t listening. The red door oh god the red door.

“Ian.”

“NOOOO!” I yelled jumping up looking around to see my mother in front of me. I was laying on the couch I was covered in sweat and to my own shame I was crying.

“Ian.” She had that worry look on her face and I stood up and leaned my head against her shoulder. “Oh Ian what’s wrong?” she asked rubbing my hair. I shuttered as I remember that dream/memory/nightmare thing. I wasn’t sure what I was calling it so at the moment it was all three. What was that? The red door. Our house doesn’t even have a red door. No house that I can remember has one. And it’s not like I’m allowed to go to sleepovers. There are not many houses that I’ve been in.

“The door mom. The red door.” I said shaking my head trying to pull myself together again. I moved away from her and smiled. “Forget it I’m fine. I’m going to go shower before they get here.” I told her and walked away going to my room taking a shower changing my clothes and just sitting there. Numb to the world. I wanted sleep. I needed sleep but what if it was waiting for me again. I didn’t want to close my eyes. I didn’t want to know what was in that room. Please oh please if there is a god don’t let me find out what’s behind the red door.

It was a bit later when my father got home from work and put the other two locks on my door so that everyone can be safe and sound at night time. From my night-self. He took out a bottle of pills as well shaking them to show me that he had them.

“We’ll start you on them tonight.” Father said and I nodded. “Ian your mother told me you had an episode today.”

“My night-self didn’t come out.” I was quick to defend myself. Even though he was my father and of course I loved my father it was required to love thy parents or something like that. But my father was the type of person that thought the worst before told differently and my mother had a way of making everything seem and sound more dramatic than it really was. “I had a bad dream it just freaked me out a bit.”

“That’s because you don’t sleep enough.” Father said standing over top of me and kissing the top of my head. “You’ll get some sleep today though.”

“What if I don’t want to sleep?” I whispered.

“Ian you know that you need to take your pills. We can’t allow you to roam the house while they are here. No we can’t allow you to roam the house anymore. If something happens to Angel or Nakita or any of us really you would never forgive yourself. This way everyone wins.”

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