Twelve
Day
There was blood everywhere. I was covered in it. Bathed in it, it seems since it covered me. I don’t think I ever saw so much in my life. I don’t think I will ever see as much again. I looked at my hand and let the weapon that I held drop out of it. Then I let out a wail. It seemed to me that it was inhuman and yet it had come from me.
“What have you done?” A voice asked me. “What have you done?!” it yelled.
I jumped up in a cold sweat. It was only a dream. Of course it was a dream. I wasn’t Night-Ian there was no way that I would ever kill someone. There was no way that I would hurt anyone. My body was burning with fever and yet my blood ran as cold as ice. The door to my room opened and I saw Billy standing there in the doorway looking in at me.
“What are you doing?” he asked an edge in his tone. He didn’t come any closer to me either. Here I was sick in bed and my own brother couldn’t come closer to me.
“Nothing.” I answered.
“Then stop screaming like some kind of freak. The next time you yell out and nothing is wrong with you I will tape your mouth shut.”
“Go away. Why are you coming to my aid in the face first place? Where is mother?”
“Mother had to take Angel to the doctor and I’m in charge of you until she gets back. If you don’t want to be put out on the balcony I would keep my mouth shut if I was you.” He said and shut the door again. Just last night everything was fine. Night-Ian was having a blast and now I was sick in bed. Something must have been wrong with the blood that he tasted. That’s why I’m sick right now. My body ached when I tried to move.
I hated being sick. I hated having to lie in bed and be trapped in one place all day. I was trapped enough. During the day time is when I’m free to roam the house. When I’m free to roam the world and here I was confined to my bed with a bucket next to it just in case. I wondered if Billy would even feed me. Knowing him he would starve me until mother came back home. He was the worst person to leave in charge of me and it’s like my mother wanted him to torment me and that’s why she did it. She might as well have told Seamus that I was all his at least then it was clear what she was trying to do.
I turned over on my side closing my eyes again and seeing the red door in front of me. Night-Ian was outside of it with his machete in his hand. He was just standing there looking at the door as if at any moment something was going to come through it. As if at any moment he would need to fight off whatever was behind it. I walked over to him and he cut his eyes over at me and then looked back at the door. I could feel it as well. I knew why Night-Ian was so worried right now. I could feel the door pulsing. I reached up and touched my chest laying my hand over my heart. I frowned when I noticed that it was keeping pace with my heart.
“What are you doing?” I asked Night-Ian.
“Some of its darkness always seeks out when the body is weak.” Night-Ian answered me.
“What are we going to do?”
“We aren’t going to do anything. I’m going to guard the door you’re going to control the body. Take some medicine and go to sleep it’s what best for all of us.” He told me never looking over at me only ever looking at the door.
“How can anything so bad really be behind one door? It’s not even locked. What’s stopping it from ever coming out? What are you going to do if it ever gets out? You said once that you were scared of it as well. So what can you do?”
“A hell of a lot more then you.” Night-Ian said and I frowned because I knew that he was going to say something like that.
“We’re stronger if we are together Night-Ian.”
“Do as you were told Day-Ian.” He dismissed me then turned around enough to grab my shirt and shove me back away from the door and the way that I had come. The way to safety.
“You keep saying that you have to protect everything. That you have to protect me and the body and the mind but who protects you Night-Ian.” I yelled.
“God if there is one.” He answered and I opened my eyes again.
“You look like shit.” A voice said and I turned to see Malikai sitting in my chair and had rolled it over to my bed.
“Who invited you in my house?” I asked trying to sit up but my body hurt way too much for that level of movement. Malikai saw what I was trying to do and moved my pillows around and helped me out. He was such a good friend I could think of about five people that would have done nothing and just watched me suffer. All five of them lived in this house as well.
“Your brother decided not to be the biggest dick alive and let me in. So do you know what happened last night or does only Night-Ian know.” He asked me and I nodded.
“I know what happened.” I said and Malikai punched me in the arm. “Hey I’m sick remember.” I yelled rubbing my arm.
“I worked my ass off to get Jessica to agree to date you and she was practically throwing herself at you and what did you do. You just blew her off and went for Mischa Young. Mischa Young!” he yelled again as if saying her name again was supposed to ring a bell to me. “Come on Ian Mischa little miss independent. Student council president top of the class thinks that she’s too good for ever guy that has ever asked her out ever.” He said.
“She gave me her number. Or rather she gave Night-Ian her number.”
“You lie.” He accused me and I tossed him my phone so that he could see that it was her number that was inside of it. “You’re still an idiot who wants brains and beauty when you can just have a pretty whore.” Malikai said and I laughed.
“I shiver to think what goes inside of that head of yours.”
“Hey at least there is only one Malikai in my head.” He said and I had to agree even if Malikai was a pervert at least he was a sane one. At least he only had one self. At the very least there were no evil doors inside of his head threatening to end everything that he knows and love. At the very least he had that much. “You’re not going to get all depressed on me are you.” He asked and I shook my head.
“A lot has been going on with me lately. My whole psyche is under attack and my family doesn’t seem to give a damn. And yet if I hurt someone or something they are so quick to ship me off to the nearest nut house. Maybe that’s what I need. Some paddle cell then none of my selves could ever hurt anyone that I know or love.”
“Sometimes people need to be hurt.” Malikai said and I looked over at him.
“Are you giving me the green light to slaughter my family?” I asked and he laughed a bit and shook his head.
“Of course not but I’ve heard bits of why you are this way. From when Billy was talking to my sister. I know what the freak did to you. People like him they are the worst scum to ever live. People like him well I don’t think anyone would miss them.”
“I can’t remember everything. Night-Ian hides things from me because he doesn’t think that I’m strong enough to handle it. You don’t remember six years ago do you.” I asked and he shook his head. “I was nine.” I said and he rolled his eyes. “I only remember flashes of it really. There was just this overwhelming feeling of darkness inside of me. Inside my head inside of the body. There was nothing but the thick darkness. It scared me so I retreated to the farthest corner of the mind. And Night-Ian he fought it and it hurt him badly. And it killed everyone.” I said dropping my hand in my head.
“What are you talking about Ian?”
“There were so many of them. So many others around me. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t control it. All I knew was that I hurt them all. Everyone in my class was slaughter but one girl. Maybe it had had its fill but for some reason it left her. I had to stay in a metal hospital for nine whole months after that. I kept telling them that it wasn’t me. That I was Day-Ian. Then at night Night-Ian would come out and he would attack them as he tried to free us. And at brief moments it would show itself again. For nine whole months I couldn’t remember who I was or what I was. They made me believe that I wasn’t any one Ian. That all of us were only one Ian.”
“Then they let you out.” Malikai said and I nodded.
“Since that day my family have feared and hated me. They blame me for letting it out. But I don’t remember letting it out. I don’t remember what’s it is. I hear its voice. More than not. It whispers it will in my mind and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight it anymore. My will is weak. Night-Ian was right about that much at least. I am weak. I fear the worst Malikai. The storm is coming.”
“Don’t say shit like that man. You’re freaking me out a bit.” He said and I sighed.
“I didn’t mean to.” I said and he stood up.
“You need to rest Ian. Stop thinking everything is gloom and doom and just get some rest. I’ll stop by tomorrow to see how you are doing.” He said and I nodded and he walked away as I lied down again. Malikai didn’t understand what it was that I was going through though. He didn’t know what it was like to have a war going on inside of your head. He didn’t understand how hard it is to fight for control over a body that is yours.
“Woe is me.” Night-Ian said and I opened my eyes to see myself at the door again. He was sitting down now still with his weapon in his hand.
“What did you say?” I asked.
“You’re always like that Day-Ian. Woe is me. You’re the victim. You’re the only one that ever suffers. You cry like a baby about your hardships but you don’t know what hardships are.”
“That’s because you won’t let me help.”
“You’ll only get in my way and why are you here again. I thought I told you to take something and go to bed.”
“Night-Ian do you think that we were always here hiding or sleeping and we woke up when True-Ian needed us or do you think we only came because of what Yoru did?” I asked him and he looked over at me.
“I thought you believed that you were True-Ian.”
“I don’t believe that anymore. I can remember it. The first time that I was in control of the body. It was the first day of school ever and mommy was so happy that her baby boy was going to school and daddy was proud that I was a big boy now. I remember thinking that I can’t ever let them down again. And then I knew then and there that I was Day-Ian. That my own reason for life was to never let them down. I guess somewhere down the line it turned into never letting anyone down ever. And now look at me. I’m weak and useless in my own war. I don’t think True-Ian would ever be as weak as I am.”
“I can honestly say you’re right True-Ian would never be as weak as you.”
“So you believe that you aren’t True-Ian either.”
“There is no True-Ian anymore. It might not be the first Ian but I’m still a Ian in this body. That means that I have just as many rights to it. Beside I’m the closest there ever will be to the original Ian.”
“Are you trying to tell me that at four Ian was a homicidal lunatic just like you?”
“I kill to feed the door. True I enjoy the killing but there is a need as well. I need to kill so I do. I like to kill because I have done it so often.” Night-Ian said and sighed as I sat down next to him he passed me one of his knives that he had on the floor in front of him.
“What happened to the True-Ian?” I asked and Night-Ian sighed.
“Hard to say. I’ll tell you one secret.” He said and pointed at the door. “I don’t know if you can called it true or not but there is another Ian in here with us. In there an Ian sleeps. Never wake him. Never ever wake him Day-Ian. He is ten times stronger and deadlier then either of us. It is why I was made. In the back of that car I knew what I had to do. I had to protect the door. I had to keep Evian behind the door.”
“Evian.” I repeated.
“Just something that I always call him. Evian Evil-Ian.” He said and laughed at his himself for a bit. “Go and get some sleep Day-Ian. Keep the body for tonight and make us whole again. Make us better.”
“What will happen if he gets out?” I asked and he shook his head not giving me an answer. My eyes opened again and my mother was in my room taking my temperature. I could feel her hand on my forehead and I reached up and touched her. I could feel her jump from the shock of me touching her and she pulled her hand away from mines. My own mother couldn’t even stand my touch.
“How are you feeling?” she asked me.
“And if I said I was dying would that make you happy?” I asked and she just looked down on me her blue eyes looking into my gray one and you would think that she would have seen her son. That she would have felt bad for the way that she was treating the son that she gave birth to. I read somewhere that it’s when we don’t receive love that we long for it. I wanted my mother’s love. I needed her to love me because if your own mother won’t love you then who in this world will. “I love you mother.” I said and she gave me this fake smile and patted my hand.
“You should get some rest Ian.” She said and started to leave the room. She couldn’t even say it back. She couldn’t lie enough to me to even say she loved me. She couldn’t bring herself to love a child like me. I threw my arm over my eyes to hide the tears that spilled out. I felt so numb inside. My mind was a whirlwind and yet my heart was still. I reached with my other hand clenching the fabric of my shirt over my heart. A numbing pain was spreading through me. What kind of mother could be so cruel to her son? What kind of woman could so easily abandoned her child.
“Hate her.” It whispered and I closed my eyes again. “Hate them all Day-Ian.”
“Who are you?” I asked and I turned to see me in front of me. “Night-Ian?” I questioned and it smiled this twisted smile at me.
“She is no mother to us. Open the door Day-Ian. I can get rid of her for us. Night-Ian is too weak. He will never kill her for you. But I’m not weak. I will slaughter her for you my Ian. My Day-Ian.”
“You’re Evian.” I said covering my ears. “You’re the one that has been whispering to me. You’re evil. Night-Ian said you had to stay behind the door. Never open the door.” I said and he laughed. His laughed sent shivers down my spine. It was high pitched and mad. It was something that a crazy person would sound like it was the laugh of some madman.
“Night-Ian only cares about Night-Ian. Haven’t you learned that by now? Why do you think he always tell you what to do. Why do you think he guard the door? I’m the only one strong enough to take the body from him. He knows that. He knows that you are too weak and so he rules over you. There is only one thing Night-Ian wants. Only one thing that he has ever wanted.”
“What is that?” I asked Evian kept walking in circles around me so I had to keep spinning around so that I could keep him in my sight at all time. All of this spinning was making me dizzy all of this double talk was getting to me.
“The body. He wants complete control over the body. He’s getting stronger every day. You felt it didn’t you Day-Ian. My sweet and innocent Day-Ian you felt when he took the body while you were in control of it.”
“He…he did.” I said and Evian nodded.
“What do you think will happen when he can come out in the day as well? He won’t need you anymore. Then he will put you in a room and lock the door. He keeps so much from you Day-Ian. Do you want to know Night-Ian dirty little secret. Would you like to know what happened to True-Ian?”
“What? What happened to True-Ian?” I asked I couldn’t help but ask.
“Will you open the door for me? Will you free me Day-Ian?”
“I’ll do anything just tell me. What happened to him? What happened to True-Ian?” I asked and Evian got close to me. He got inches away from me his lips brushing against my ear.
“Night-Ian killed him.” He whispered those words and was gone. They rung in my head. Those four words felt as if they were the only truth in this world. As if it had been the only truth ever. Night-Ian killed him.