Ineffable ~ Good Omens One Shots

If You Really Loved Me [angst] (Human Crowley! AU) -Ineffable Husbands-

AN: if you're not listening to Green Day while reading this you're reading it wrong.

Anthony's fingers trembled as he struggled to light a match. Give him credit, he was trying to produce a flame in the pouring rain. It was windy too.

"Anthony, Anthony, Anthony, you've really fucked up this time."

The match became aflame. He lit the the cigarette and immediately took a long draw on it after.

"What are you going to do?"

Anthony took the cigarette out from between his lips and let the smoke drift away.

"I don't know what to do," he muttered.

"Maybe I do," a voice from behind him said.

Anthony looked behind him.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Me? Oh I'm Azzie!"

"Well hullo Azzie. I'm Fuckoff."

Azzie sat down next to Anthony and said, "Don't worry. I know who you are, Anthony."

"Could you just leave me alone?"

Azzie responded, "No. I don't think you really want to be alone. -You're smoking. That's awful for your lungs."

"Do ya think I care?" Anthony asked.

Azzie responded, "No, I care though."

"Why do you care?"

Azzie said, "Because I'm your angel."

Anthony laughed, "My angel! You're my angel!"

Azzie rolled his eyes and said, "Your angel. Usually we don't interact with humans and such but... well you're different. You're lost and a bit broken. I'll tell you the truth. Not a single human in the world loves you or cares about your. I've looked hard, and I've tried hard to find someone with the heart to love you, but... Well nobody has the heart around here."

Azzie spread his wings and used one to cover Anthony.

"Except me now that I'm here. It seems dead here. Look, your yard is scattered with broken glass and nails. There's no grass. You live across from railroad tracks. It's miserable, Anthony."

Anthony said, "I'm miserable."

Azzie asked, "Can we go inside?"

"My parents are fighting."

"Over what?"

"What to do with me. They found out I'm gay. I suppose your side isn't too partial to that."

Azzie said, "It's controversial, as it is with you humans."

"And what's your view?"

Azzie said, "I like it. I suppose with this body I am. Maybe... Um I'm not sure actually. It's confusing. Male shaped body but I don't have a gender. It's a big concept and I'm not familiar with it."

"I understand," Anthony laughed.

Azzie said, "I'm not here about that though. I'm here to talk to you about me. I'm here to keep you safe. Come on. Let's get your stuff. We'll climb in your window."

"Wait? Where are we going?"

"Somewhere better."

"We're running away?"

"You are. I'm just helping."

Anthony said, "I don't have anything I want."

Azzie titled his head and asked, "Not even your little sister's baby blanket?"