Ineffable ~ Good Omens One Shots

Antony, Antony Where Art Thou Antony (Romeo & Juliet AU) Ineffable Husbands pt1

A/N: I haven't even read all of Romeo and Juliet yet... Also I'm not writing in Shakespearian language because it's a pain to. Also someone requested this AU a while back but I can't remember who and I deleted the request because I'm a dummy. Also you may notice that there isn't a H in Antony's name (even though I should be using the name Antonio). That's because in the 1300s they didn't do that. I know that because I did research for another book of mine called Odd Timings. Read it please.

We start in the Italian city of Verona. Two fine and prevalent families live there. They both have a particular hatred for each other. They also both have two sons.

The Crowley house has Antony. We shall begin with him.

"Oh, Beelzebub, she's sworn herself to becoming a nun?"

Antony's cousin, Beelzebub, tends to hang out with him quite often. He listens to most of Antony's problems.

"Who?" Beelzebub asked. He knew exactly who, but he just wanted to hear Antony say it.

"Uriel! She's going to be a nun! Why be a nun when she could have me!"

Beelzebub said, "I know. Poor her, missing out on such an opportunity."

Antony said, "I believe I'm going to go further moan in the woods."

Beelzebub asked, "Why do that when Hastur and I are out enjoying such a nice day, Antony? You could join us."

"I suppose it is nice out. I will join you, though I will continue to groan over Uriel."

Beelzebub asked, "Why don't I show you other pretty women. It will help you get over her."

"It will only make me miss her more."

»»-----♡-----««

"Azira! We need to discuss something, my dear boy," the nurse said to the young boy.

"Yes, nurse? What is it?"

"Marriage! There shall be a party tonight! Perhaps you could select a woman to try to court?"

Azira sighed, "Nurse, I don't believe I'd like that. Not yet. I'm only fifteen and I do not believe I could love a girl yet. It would not be right in my heart to pretend to love someone I do not."

"Oh you silly boy. You'll see tonight. All the guests will be invited and I'm sure you'll spot someone of your liking."

Azira nodded and sighed sadly, "Let me be alone to think, nurse, please."

The nurse then left.

»»-----♡-----««

"Sirs, could you read this list of names for me? I do not know how to read."

Antony, Beelzebub and Hastur looked down at the list of names.

"No, we do not know how to read," Antony said.

"Oh well thank you for your time," the page said. He started to walk on.

"Wait come back, fellow!" Antony shouted, "We can read. Let me see the list."

The list was handed to Antony. Beelzebub and Hastur looked at it too.

"There's going to be a party... Let's see- Count Shadwell and his lovely wife, the entirety of the Pulsifer family, my nephew Gabriel, Sandal Phlon and his daughters, my fair niece and Uriel, Hastur and his sisters Dagon and Michelle... What a fine group of people! Where are they to go?"