Ineffable ~ Good Omens One Shots

Text Me! pt 2 [Fluff/Angst w/h/e] (Highschool AU) -Ineffable Husbands-

A/N: tw- religious cults
This is for kiwiaku

"Azira, it was such a wonderful idea to have youth group on Tuesdays," Gabe said, a smile resting on his face. Micha nodded in agreement.

"And in such a wonderful place. I love this campfire. Plus, Uriel has her guitar. It's wonderful."

Uriel smiled and said, "I have been blessed by the Lord with this wonderful talent."

Azira nodded and said, "The Lord works in wonderful ways."

The word wonderful tasted bitter on Azira's tongue. He had heard that word his whole life, and deeply despised it, because he could blatantly tell that not everything was wonderful in the way that everyone made it out to be. Plus, there were better words to use than wonderful. Glorious, exquisite, awe-striking, tickity-boo... and his favorite; ineffable.

"Perhaps we can talk about the wonderful things that have happened to us this week. Who would like to go first?" Micha sighed, looking around the group. Uriel said, "Perhaps Azira would like to share something wonderful. Didn't you try to save the sinner, Anthony?"

Azira smiled softly and said, "Perhaps, I did try to. I offered him the word of the Lord and invited him to come to our meeting tomorrow."

"And?" Gabriel asked, staring Azira dead in the eye.

"-and he might attend. I'll be closely working with him, to try to save him. It's already been approved too. Isn't it wonderful?"

Everyone clapped for Azira. He smiled softly and said, "Thank you, so very much. I owe everything to the All Mighty. Oh such wonderful things."

Gabriel said, "Thank you, Azira. It is always wonderful to save a sinner, and it must take such courage to handle someone like Anthony."

Deep down inside Azira was enjoying being complimented by the group. He knew it was a very stretched out taradiddle.

The next day

Azira laid his head softly on Anthony's chest.

"A taradiddle... it means a lie. I'm a good lier, and a good actor too. You're going to have to act tonight."

"I am?"

"Yes, and please try your best. We're doing sacrifices tonight."

Azira kissed Anthony's cheek softly and closed his eyes. He let his gentle breath leak out of his mouth onto Anthony's skin, causing them both to become less aware of things.

"How about we review?"

"Azira we've already reviewed twice."

"Play the part, Anthony. I spend most of my free time studying and reviewing. You will too. Now let's review the study book."

Azira opened his study book. His voice trembling as he sighed, "Basic question; why are the sinners sacrificed?"

Anthony stared at him and said, "Because if the sinner can't be saved, then his blood shall be purified and used to water the crops and the roses, so wonderful things can arise."

Azira nodded and asked, "What's the significance of roses?"

"Roses signify life, death and all things wonderful."

"Yes," Azira sighed as tears began to form in his eyes, "Now let's continue before we have to go."

The two of them continued to study until it was time for them to leave. They walked through the woods together, coming to an abandoned church. Plenty of adults and children sat inside, including Azira's parents.

"Mother, father... this is the sinner I'm saving. His name is Anthony. He's wonderful. You always said I needed more wonderful friends. He just needs to be saved."

"That's so wonderful Azira. Welcome Anthony," said Azira's mother. Anthony nodded and said, "Azira has taught me wonderfully."

Azira's father said, "We'll have to induct him tonight, so he can no longer be a sinner."

Gabriel stepped up to the podium, a higher ranking leader holding the collar of his shirt. The leader spoke, "Gabriel did not bring us a sinner for tonight's offerings."

"Use that sinner!"

Gabriel pointed at Anthony.

Azira shouted, "No! I'm saving him!"

"He's fair game until he's been saved."

Anthony looked to Azira for help. There was nothing to be done. Anthony was pinned down to the sacrificing table.

"Would you like to do the honors Azira? You brought the sinner. It's a wonderful experience."

Azira nodded and loosened one of Anthony's restraints holding the knife to his wrist. He whispered in Anthony's ear, "Sinner helps sinner," as the knife cut the restraint free. He turned around, stabbing anyone who tried to attack him. Eventually he was able to cut Anthony free and run with him.

That night Azira slept in Anthony's basement.

"I'm a sinner now, Anthony."

Anthony continued to fill Azira's inflatable mattress with air. "You know I don't know... stuff you said just doesn't seem right. Honestly it I recall from the first chapter of the Bible murder is a sin."

He took the air pump out of the mattress and began to make the bed for Azira.

"That reminds me... I was branded."

"You're what?"

Azira rolled up his sleeve and showed off the mark that looked to be a sword. "Perhaps, all the members were scorched. Just a little mark. Unfortunately it's going to be the reason they'll be able to find me anywhere."

Anthony nodded and said, "Not here. My parents have every window and door locked and you know the police have a good search going on. Nothing is going to happen."

He kissed Aziraphale softly.

"Well Anthony, if they do, me and you are dead. Especially me."