Ineffable ~ Good Omens One Shots

Temptation [crack?/lemon] -ineffable husbands-

A/N: credit to Wikipedia and Tumblr for telling me about the specific period of time the red bellied black snek feels all *wiggles eyebrows* also I was like Azi and Crowley don't have bits unless they make an effort and that is canon so this happened.

The red-bellied black snake's mating time in during the spring. It will generally engage in fighting for the female.

Except when they're gay, like Crowley.

Spring was always difficult for Crowley. He always had this urge nipping at him, especially when Aziraphale was around. It led to awkward excuses to be alone, just so he wouldn't have to embarrass himself in front of Aziraphale.

This spring he wouldn't be so lucky.

The two were drinking in the bookshop. Neither of them took count of the amount of wine they drank. Not that they'd remember it.

"Aziraphale," Crowley hissed, "Did you like it when I wasss a sssnake?'

"You were a wiley being."

"I still am."

He shifted over into Aziraphale's lap. He rubbed his neck against Aziraphale.

"C-Crowley," Aziraphale asked, "What are you doing?"

"May I, angel?"

Aziraphale softly laughed and said, "Perhaps we should sober up. If we're going to do this at least one of us should remember it in the morning."

Crowley nodded and sobered up. Aziraphale did the same.

"Ah- Aziraphale I'm sorry."

"No I've wanted this. Crowley, I've always wondered what this feels like. You should have told me or I would have made an effort for you."

Crowley softly hissed, "Theress no need to over work yourssself."

He then unbuttoned Aziraphale's vest and shirt. He rubbed his chin against the angel's chest and occasionally kissed him. Little tremors shook throughout his body.

Aziraphale smiled and purred, "Your skin is so soft."

Crowley unbuttoned his own black shirt. Patches of red scales were on his stomach and hips.

Aziraphale asked, "Can I touch those?"

Crowley nodded as Aziraphale reached out to brush his fingers against the scales. His hands continued to work down, eventually coming to the zipper on Crowley's pants.

"Angel, I did make an effort. It's mating season after all."

A blush arose to Aziraphale's face as he flicked the zipper down and tossed Crowley's pants to the side. He was met with skin.

"N-no underwear?"

Crowley asked, "Too fast?"

Aziraphale continued to feel Crowley's scales. He shook his head.

"No, I'm not surprised," he said, "I should have expected it. You won't expect this."

He miracled his clothes away.

Crowley continued to rub himself all over Aziraphale's plush body, softly hissing as he did so.

"You know Crowley, I've done my research over your kind of snake," Aziraphale said as he laid face down on the couch. His plump ass stuck up like a tastey dessert for Crowley. (I have never felt so stupid writing a sentence)

"You know what to do, serpent."

Crowley miracled Aziraphale to be stretched and lubed. He then slowly pushed into Aziraphale. His scales rubbed against Aziraphale's plump ass and heavenly thighs. This caused a moan to leave the angel's mouth.

Aziraphale settled around Crowley's length. He also spread his wings.

Crowley thrusted his hips and placed his hands against Aziraphale's back. They moved with Crowley's pace. It was fast, but still able to be savored. They went like this for a few minutes.

Aziraphale moaned loudly. He loved the way Crowley felt inside him. There was one thing that he had failed to mention though. This was his first time. Now, of course he had done research, considering the fact that the shop right beside of him sold proper research material.

He had a basic idea of what would happen next.

"Crowley, I feel funny!"

Crowley didn't know what would happen since Aziraphale didn't make an effort.

"Fuck~" Aziraphale moaned as liquid from the bases of his wings ran down his back.

Crowley licked at it and continued to buck into Aziraphale. Occasionally he'd lean and passionately kiss Aziraphale.

The angel came twice, making a mess of everything around, before Crowley came once.

Drool ran down Aziraphale's face. He turned back over, looking at Crowley.

"That was great, dear," Aziraphale said and miracled their clothes back on, "My first time too."

Crowley blushed and asked, "That was your first time?"

Aziraphale said, "I wanted to save myself for you, my love."