Ineffable ~ Good Omens One Shots

Always Remember -Ineffable Husbands- Chapter Two: Goodbye Anthony

A/N: TW: religious cults (why even bother tagging that now), discussions about some sexy time stuff in which an asexual asks an allo (is that the correct use of allo??) why u feel like dis? and the whole conversation is actually kind of funny.

Thursday

Anthony sighed, "We only have a week left of Christmas break. That's sad. I'm sad."

Beezy said, "But we have another break in February."

"Too long. I don't want to be around people. There's idiots... You know who they remind me of?"

Beezy sighed, "Gabriel."

"Bingo. You got it. Most people in the school are just like not culty versions of Gabriel. They're all blond, rich and annoying."

Beezy nodded and said, "You know how much money they're all making?"

"How much?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking. It's got to be a lot. I mean they own stock in Dollar General. Also considering the members have jobs, and 10% of their earnings go to the church, and there's a lot of people, there's got to be a lot of money."

Anthony nodded and asked, "Why do we only talk about New Beginning? Why don't we ever talk about movies or something? All we ever talk about is the stupid cult."

"You're right. I think we should start talking about other things."

They tried to think about other things. This made them realize that they had absolutely nothing in common except for formerly being part of the same cult.

"So... Boys, am I right? Hot boys? Dick... Uh..."

Beezy shook their head and said, "Anthony, I'm demiromantic and asexual. I do not crave boys and I especially do not crave dick."

"I can respect that," Anthony sighed, "Only thing I like as much as a plump soft boy named Azira is a good old fashioned car."

"I prefer something modern."

Anthony asked, "Do you listen to Queen?"

Beezy sighed, "No. What were you doing in school last week?"

"Boring stuff. Literally nothing except finals and review. I learned a lot of the stuff at school when I was part of New Beginning. It's stressful being so bored. Being stressed makes my emotions play and then I feel certain ways and it is so annoying."

"Certain ways?"

"Like missing Azira. I miss him emotional and physically."

"So you get stressed, but then you're horny. Why Anthony?" Beezy asked, "Why are you so horny sometimes?"

"I'm not. I'm just... Stressed and touch starved."

"Stress causes you to be horny?"

Anthony said, "Not exactly. Thinking about Azira makes me feel things. Also thinking about Azira makes me feel stressed. School and being bored makes me feel stressed."

Beezy rolled their eyes and said, "I know more about you then what I needed to know."

Anthony asked, "Can we just forget we ever had this conversation?"

"Yes, I'd like to. Good, this conversation is over. Let's go back to normal. Talk about the cult as usual," Beezy said.

"Deal," Anthony sighed, "I miss Azira and he's going to die."

"Maybe we can talk about the cult tomorrow. I'm not in the mood to hear about Azira after that bad conversation."

Beezy then left. They walked to their room and laid down on the bed. With their face against the pillow they mumbled, "Why do teenage boys have to always been so horny?"