Ineffable ~ Good Omens One Shots

Antony, Antony Where Art Thou Antonty pt5

A/N: incase you don't know anything about Romeo and Juliet, yet are reading this, I need to warn that this chapter does have a double suicide at the end of it. Also I dare to switch up the ending. Dare to shake it up but still have the same results.

Antony said, "If I can trust my dreams, joyful news is coming soon. Love rules my heart. I had a dream that Azira came and found me dead. It's strange a dream that let's a dead man think. Azira came and brought me back to life with a kiss. I rose from the dead. Oh how sweet it would be to have the boy I love when merely thinking about love makes me so happy."

Antony's servant, Dagon, walked in.

"Oh Dagon, what news do you have? Do you bring a letter from Anathema? How is Azira? Is everyone well? How is my Azira? I ask that again because nothing can be wrong if she is alright."

Dagon said, "Then nothing is wrong. Azira is fine. He sleeps in the Fell tomb, and his immortal soul lives with the angels. I saw his burial. I came right here to tell you the news. Pardon me, but it is my job."

Antony asked, "Is that really true? Oh then I rebel against the stars and the Heavens! You know where I live! Get me some ink and paper and hire me some horses to ride. I will leave here tonight!"

Dagon said, "Please be patient. You look pale and as if you'll hurt yourself."

"Ngk. You're wrong. Leave me and do what I told you to do. Wait don't you have a letter from Anathema?"

"No, I don't."

"No matter. Get on and get me what I need."

As soon as Dagon left Antony mumbled, "Well, Azira, I'll lie with you tonight. Let's see how. There's an old, poor pharmacist nearby. He's probably hungry enough for any kind of money, and would sell me poison for any price, even if his punishment would be death. -Oh look there he is. Hey, pharmacist!"

The pharmacist asked, "Who calls?"

Antony said, "Come here. I see you're poor. Here are forty ducats. Let me have a shot of poison. Something that works fast."

The pharmacist said, "I have some, but they're illegal to sell. The penalty is death."

Antony said, "You're poor and old, term you're still afraid to die. You're starving. Anyone can see you're a beggar. The world, nor the law is your friend. Don't be poor, break the law, take this money."

"Oh I agree because I'm poor, not because I wasn't to."

"I pray because you're poor, not because you want me to buy this."

The pharmacist handed Antony the poison. "Put this in any kind of liquid you want and drink it. Even if you were as strong as twenty men, it would kill you immediately."

Antony handed the pharmacist money. "Thank you. I'll take this poison to Azira's grave. That's where I must use it."

»»————-♡————-««

Anathema heard a voice calling for her. "Grandma Agnes? Is that you? Did you get the letter to Antony? What does he say?"

Grandma Agnes said, "I wasn't able to make it. I was held at the steak again by that lovely man."

"The witch hunter?"

"Yes. I rather do like his grandson. You should court him. See how funny it would be."

Anathema asked, "Well did you get the letter to Antony?"

"No, unfortunately not."

"Damn it! That letter had the whole plan in it! Get me an iron crowbar! Bring it straight back here!"