Ineffable ~ Good Omens One Shots

It's All Tickity Boo [Angst w/h/e] -Ineffable Husbands-

A/N: felt all fuzzy about Ineffable Husbands today but I've also been having a real emo time tonight listening to As It Is, My Chemical Romance and Black Veil Brides so here's some craveable Aziracrow.

The ineffable plan was in full effect. Three sides to a war. The humans, angels, and the demons.

There was no stopping the apocalypse this time.

Exactly fifteen minutes before the start of the end an angel sat with a demon in the small back room of a book shop. This angel was Aziraphale, and the demon was Crowley. They were just about to start drinking all of the wine that was stored in the back room.

One would ask, why the demon and angel who stopped the apocalypse the first time were so chill the second time around.

They were chill because time was paused. They needed a break. For the past week Crowley and Aziraphale had been readying the humans. Aziraphale found a raging crowd of humans to be terrifying.

What scared Crowley was the fact that he never had a chance to speak about what he wanted to. Those happened to be his feelings for Aziraphale. He was scared that he'd loose the only person who has been with him for the past 6,257 years, three months, and nine days. Thinking about all that time brought butterflies to his stomach.

Crowley hated time. It worked in the worst ways.

Aziraphale could see there was something wrong with Crowley. It was nothing a good drink and some relaxation couldn't fix. The angel handed the demon a glass of wine, and said, "Drink, we have plenty of non existent time."

The demon tilted the glass to his lips and drank, and continued drinking. It seemed as if nothing really mattered.

Which nothing did.

Crowley knew that, but his head wasn't in the same place as it was.

After plenty of laughter and a very drunk conversation about reptiles, the two sobered up. Back to mental awareness.

Crowley didn't want mental awareness. He didn't want the moment to stop, but it had to eventually. He knew it just had to.

When Crowley unfroze time, everything started to feel different, like a chilly feeling. A meteor crossed in front of the sun. That was a definite sign of end times.

"Crowley, why are you doing this?"

The demon asked, "What do you mean angel?"

Aziraphale stepped in front of his window to see the meteor that was still blocking the sun. He sighed, "Crowley, I know it's the end of all things, but I have something to tell you."

"Yeah, I actually have some famous last words too, but I insist, you first."

Aziraphale looked at Crowley and said, "I don't know how to say it. I don't know what you'd think."

Crowley laughed, "Yeah I can say the same about what I have to say. Quit holding back. We only have fourteen minutes left anyways."

Aziraphale sighed, "Fine, I feel this ineffable thing called attraction and I hate the way I'm feeling it. Your turn."

Crowley smiled and said, "Well I feel this ineffable thing called attraction too. I've felt it all this time."

Aziraphale blushed and asked, "For me?"

Crowley approached Aziraphale and said, "Silly angel, of course you."

Aziraphale smiled and said, "Wow makes me wish we had more time."

Crowley sighed, "Yeah, me too."

The demon walked over to the couch and said, "Well since the end is coming we should do something. We could have more time. Let's like miracle holy water inside the meteor and set hell fire to it and just eliminate all the angels and demons and most of the humans."

Aziraphale sat down next to Crowley and said, "Sounds like suicide and genocide wrapped up in a nice little package. I suppose it could work though if by some miracle we survived, which we probably won't, but at this point I have no ideas."

Nothing stopped them from doing exactly that. By the time they finished with making sure their own works were in place, they were left with only seven minutes left.

With only seven minutes left an angel and a demon sat in a book shop, together.

"Crowley, I think we should use these desperate few minutes to, uh cuddle or something."

Crowley reached for Aziraphale. He pulled the angel closer to him. In the matter of two minutes they were sobbing and wrapped up in each other's wings.

"You know I'm glad we got the whole admittance thing out of the way," Crowley sobbed. Aziraphale whole heartily agreed.

Another thirty seconds passed by before Aziraphale sighed, "Crowley I love you."

Crowley laughed, "Yeah, I love me too."

Aziraphale was expecting Crowley to say that he was in love too.

"And I love you even more than I love myself, Aziraphale."

So Aziraphale got what he wanted. All along he wanted to be loved. Now with three minutes left, he knew that he'd die loved.

Aziraphale took Crowley's sunglasses off.

"See me clearly, through your own eyes."

Crowley smiled and said, "You're soft, Aziraphale. I like it. Always have."

"I know."

Two minutes.

Crowley grabbed Aziraphale's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Put down your wings, Aziraphale. There's a lot of feathers in here."

Aziraphale contracted his wings. It was at that moment Crowley tossed himself over Aziraphale, pinning him to the couch. This was Crowley being nice.

Crowley was being very nice, since there was less than a minute until the world ended, and he intended for his angel to be the only survivor.

Aziraphale asked, "What are you doing Crowley?"

Crowley didn't hesitate to kiss Aziraphale. He needed his angel quiet. Usually Crowley was all for questions, but not now. Because now the ground was starting to shake, and things were starting to look bad outside.

Everything ended with an explosion. The ending, included Crowley's end. A terrible death by a holy water explosion.

Most would have assumed Aziraphale to be dead too. He didn't die. He was kept all neat and tucked away under a pile of protective black feathers.

It would start with a garden and end with one too.

When Aziraphale woke up after thousands of years he was in a garden, as beautiful as Eden. These plants grew the best, for these were what Crowley's plants resulted in. It was kind of a shame, Crowley's grow great plants survived the apocalypse but not all of Crowley. Just mere feathers of his.

At this point it should be mentioned that Aziraphale was deemed to be God at this point, due to the fact that he was the only angel left. No more demons, only a single angel who wasn't even on Heaven's side. That technically meant Heaven and Hell were no longer in existence, but that's only a temporary thing because Aziraphale rather liked the general idea of them.

Aziraphale found out his God powers were better than expected. He could create things. He could restore things. He could destroy things. It was his universe to love.

So when the now God was comfortable enough with his powers he picked up the feather of a demon, and created Crowley all over again.

"Aziraphale!"