#155 Falling For The Gang Leader

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Falling for the Gang Leader by @Marisha_bae

You need a space after commas. Commas before names too.

," said

Consistency is key with grammar. There were places where you would sometimes do things right and sometimes wrong.

Look at my comments for the model corrections. I obviously couldn't comment on every mistake made so look at those for an example.

More descriptions of the boys, please.

I also found the car scene unrealistic. Eva should be screaming a bit more, and the boys a lot more professional.

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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