Critiques [CLOSED]

#117 SOCIETY

SOCIETY by @Eddy622

You had some repititions of words where another synonym would have looked nicer. Also rewording of phrases and sentences.

Comma splice was a big problem - you can't have two separate sentences and join them with a comma. Instead, join them with a semi colon or a dash.

Some verbs weren't conjugated properly.

Commas before names (this was mainly done but there was one example with 'Miss' and remember that this still counts as a name).

I liked how the story was very real, tackling problems like racism.

Blond=male
Blonde=female

Use ellipses instead of underscores.

Questions need to have question marks at the end (there were some tricky ones that can catch you out since they look like sentences but are in fact questions).

Numbers spelled out look more formal.

," said

Use this as an example for the rest of your dialogue. ^^

Basic grammar was sometimes not adhered to.

Overall, a good attempt. Just some grammar issues but look at my comments for those.

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