#115 Judgement

21 3 3

by xanabanana66x

by xanabanana66x

Judgement by @SummerWavesXoxo

Great hook at the start - that's the way it should be done.

Commas before names.

The dialogue tag should be in lower case.

Keep everything in the past tense. I know Alexandra is explaining everything that happened but there were various times when you jumped into present for no reason.

Descriptions were vivid.

I think you should proof read before publishing since there were many small mistakes that could easily have been avoided.

Alexandra was a very developed character, though, and the plot was extremely intriguing.

Overall, a fantastic start. Keep it up!

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