Critiques [CLOSED]

#50 Hunter's Shadow

Hunter's Shadow by @EmmaConnolly379

You needed more paragraph breaks. At times you had paragraphs that were pages long. This made it quite hard to comment on it and to also read the text.

You needed commas to split clauses.

There was a good character intro for Blake - it blended in nicely.

I think instead of using block capitals and bold lettering you could use italics.

Numbers spelled out look more formal.

Contractions were sometimes done incorrectly (such as Alpha's and father's and things like that.)

Dialogue formating applies to thoughts as well (although thoughts should be in italics and there should be no speech marks.)

Ellipsises should be three dots.

Good inclusion of action in dialogue (the bit with Sky combing her fur).

You need commas before names and dashes need spaces.

I found it a little confusing with the characters Blake and Marcus. I think for a second I thought they were the same person or something. Maybe have something to clear this up?

I loved the ending to chapter one.

I would put the mind link in italics as it's kind of like a thought and isn't spoken out loud.

Overall, a good story. Just layout issues and some grammar but they were fairly minor.

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